Poem–“Mating Ritual”

It’s the last day of National Poetry Month! You made it! The torture is over!

With this last poem.

The final poem featured from the November Poem-a-Day Challenge comes from the theme Disguise. I admit to playing fast and loose with this theme, but you have to admit that my free verse isn’t wrong.

Mating Ritual

I pluck hairs
from my face
to hide that
I’m a mammal.
Men don’t date
within their species.

Poem–“Frayed”

We’re almost through National Poetry Month. You guys are such sports.

The theme of this poem from the November Poem-a-Day Challenge was Nerves. A fitting theme at the time because my nerves were, well, frayed.

This poetic form is called a nonce. It’s a poetic form created by a poet for one time use. The rules of this particular nonce is three words a line and nine lines for the poem. Easy peasy.

Frayed

going too fast
on black roads
shiny and wet
glaring like ice
hit the brakes
expect to slide
hope to stop
before I skid
thru the light

Poem–“Careless Syllables”

Good news! You’re half-way through National Poetry Month and my poetic torture. Our half-way point poem from the November Poem-a-Day Challenge features the theme…Poetic Form. Write a poem in a poetic form. Hey! I’ve been studying for this one for months!

Many of the poems I wrote during November were done using scraps of ideas that I’d jotted down. This is one of them. I just crammed that idea into a tricube.

Careless Syllables

I’ve said things
that dug scars
in soft skin

used too much
teeth on a
tender spot

but for me
it was just
a Tuesday

Poem–“Rube Goldberg Revisited”

National Poetry Month torture continues with our second poem of the month, which was written on the 22nd day of the November Poem-a-Day challenge. The theme for that day was Machine, so I wrote about the kind of machine I could really use.

This poem is a stornello, which has fast become a favorite form. I have no idea why I like everything lower case in my stornellos, but we’re just going to flow with it.

Rube Goldberg Revisited

i need a machine to make my life easy
the difficulty level makes me queasy
a fan-like device should make it all breezy

Poem–“Hot Flashes”

I regret to inform you that it is once again April, and April means National Poetry Month.

This year’s selections all come from the Writer’s Digest November Poem-a-Day challenge. Every day in November, participants were given a theme and best wishes to write a poem. Eleven of the poems I wrote that month were put into a chapbook at the end of the challenge and submitted for funsies. That leaves nineteen poems with nothing better to do.

Let’s get started, shall we?

The first poem of the month features the theme Fire/Ice, and it’s written in my default free verse.

I’m easing you in, kiddos.

Hot Flashes

ice in my veins
fire on my skin
freezing hot
burning cold
maybe it’s love
maybe it’s menopause

What Is My Writing Endgame Now?

I feel like it’s important as a creative to check in on myself and my creative goals beyond just what projects I’m working on and what deadlines I need to meet. I’m thinking of the big picture, the reason for my creative existence, as it were.

Basically, what the fuck is the point?

My answer to this question has changed. When I first started pursuing a serious writing career in my late 20s, the goal was getting published. Getting published enough would translate to a stable, successful writing career. That was the endgame. Having a writing career and supporting myself with my writing.

The means changed in the ensuing years, utilizing self-publishing and Patreon as a means of making money and establishing a fanbase that would hopefully help me gain more traditional publishing opportunities. But the endgame remained the same. Have a writing career and support myself with my writing.

At some point, though, the endgame changed. Sort of.

As much as I would love to have a writing career and support myself with my writing, it’s become evident in the last few years that this goal is no longer attainable. Even if the world wasn’t currently on fire, traditional publishing has changed enough that lowlifes like me don’t have a chance of making a career of it. Publishers are more invested in their own profits than their authors, looking mostly for writers that already have an established large following online that will translate to guaranteed sales and justify their shrinking commitment to marketing and promotion.

In short, I will never be popular enough to get published by any of the big, traditional publishers or their imprints. That makes me a much less profitable client to take on as an agent, which means I’m much less likely to land one.

This is already a hard business to break into and I have handicapped myself tremendously by my inability to be popular and, I think, by my lack of education. Every author giving advice in the pages of Writer’s Digest has an MFA. I don’t even have a college degree. There is the also not small issue of me not writing stories that people want to read. Even if I had everything else, my brain doesn’t produces the tales the masses want to consume.

And right now, I’m not even really that interested in writing those stories. I am working on Stateline, of course, but I haven’t been inspired to write a short story in months. I’m more invested in writing poetry at the moment, and that’s an even harder sell. As much as I love writing it and as much as I enjoy reading it, I lack what it takes to be truly good at it.

So what is my writing endgame now?

Honestly, I’m not really sure. The dream of supporting myself with my writing remains in the back of my mind, but right now, the writing is more for myself and for the small group of readers who’ve been enjoying my work. Right now I’m content with doing what I’m doing.

I know it’s not the endgame, but for now, it’s enough.

Poem–Magnificent Seven–“Goodnight Robicheaux”

You made it! The last of the Magnificent Seven poems. You all are such good sports.

The last poem I’m posting was actually the first one I wrote. Goodnight Robicheaux is such an interesting character. His exploits for the losing side of the Civil War made him a legend and also damaged him considerably. While he works as a warrant officer like his friend Chisholm (an odd friendship given their opposing sides during the war), it seems that he mostly earns a living from his legacy and Billy Rocks’s skills with his knives.

Goodnight is deeply conflicted. He’s more than willing to join Chisholm in the Seven’s cause and actually cautions Chisholm about his motivations for saving the town of Rose Creek, knowing that they’re more personal than Chisholm has let the other Seven know. He’s got a Southern wisdom that never fails to produce a turn of phrase for the moment. And when it comes to training the men of the town to shoot, he’s an exacting and serious commander.

But Goodnight is haunted by the demons of his past, of the lives he took during the war. He may be a legendary sharpshooter, but it’s come at a great cost. Goodnight believes that if he shoots to kill again, he’ll die. It’s a paralyzing fear that only Billy knows about, and it leads him to abandon the Seven the night before the fight. Naturally, he overcomes the worst of himself and rejoins his friends. After all, if he’s going to die, he might as well die with them.

It was the scene in which he abandons the rest of the Seven, when he was riding away in the night, that sparked the idea for the poem. Because Goodnight is not a coward. He’s a haunted man. And he carries with him a graveyard of ghosts.

This poem is free verse, which is my default, and the only Magnificent Seven poem I allowed myself to write in my usual form. It was also the only poem that got a significant revision. After writing “Jack Horne” and “Red Harvest”, I realized that there was an emerging theme to these poems and I needed to go back and include that into “Goodnight Robicheaux”.

The overall theme of the Magnificent Seven poems is home. Every member of the Seven lost their home in some way, either by choice or by force, and they’ve all been brought together to defend a home that isn’t theirs.

It’s really obvious in retrospect.

Goodnight Robicheaux

He’s a haunted man.
You can’t half-fill a graveyard
and not expect a few ghosts.
He’s got an army of them now.
Waiting. Whispering his future.
He knows that owl following him
will soon swallow him up
and spit his bones into
the first grave he ever dug.
A grave he’ll call home.

Poem–Magnificent Seven–“Red Harvest”

It’s time for your monthly dose of poetry that resulted from a hyper focus.

Like Vasquez, I had Red Harvest’s poetry form chosen before I had a good idea of what I was going to write, though I did have a good nugget of inspiration to work with. Red Harvest had been told that he was meant to walk a different path away from his tribe and that intrigued me. It was portrayed as being an unusual life choice as when Red Harvest first shows up, the rest of the Seven and as well as Emma Cullen and Teddy Q immediately start looking for other members of Red Harvest’s tribe. As it turned out, Red Harvest found a new tribe, even if it was temporary.

Though most of the Seven accept Red Harvest easily, there is some lingering tension with Jack Horne, who made his name as a killer of Native Americans. That tension seems mostly one-sided, though, and fades quick enough.

A man of few words, Red Harvest speaks mostly in his native tongue, which only Chisholm can understand, but he does speak -and presumably understand- some English. Mostly, though, he cuts a figure as a silent, stoic warrior, skilled with a bow as well as a gun and a knife. He paints his face as well as the face of his horse, but not always, marking himself when battle is expected. There is a quiet certainty about him. This is his path and he will walk it.

I chose a nonet for his poem. It’s a diminishing poem. The first line has nine syllables (hence the name nonet), the second line has eight, third line seven, and so on, the last line ending the poem with a single syllable. I felt it a fitting form for a character who was sent out on his own to find his place knowing it might be temporary.

Behold my mastery of disappearing syllables.

Red Harvest

Alone, his path a prairie, shaded
with hidden purpose. Guided by
winds he knows by soul, leading
him to his only fate.
Tying him to lives
he cannot save
for a place
not his
home.

Poem–Magnificent Seven–“Billy Rocks”

Poetry punishment is back, but lucky for you, this poem marks the half-way point.

I adore Billy Rocks. A man of few words and brilliant knives, he’s a loyal friend to Goodnight Robicheaux. We’re introduced to Billy through Goodnight, who explains that he had a warrant for Billy’s arrest, but when he saw him easily taking care of a room full of men, he knew he couldn’t arrest him and they’d been partners ever since, making a living by betting on Billy’s skills against the unsuspecting.

Though Goodnight had a warrant for Billy’s arrest, it’s implied that Billy’s less an outlaw and more a victim of circumstance due to his race. He wouldn’t be whooping everybody’s ass all over here and there if they kept their racism to their damn selves. And though there’s definitely some racism in regards to Vasquez and Red Harvest, it’s explicitly pointed out in Billy’s backstory.

I love Billy’s friendship with Goody. As a result, that ended up being the main theme of his poem.

I chose the sijo poetic form for Billy’s poem. It’s a Korean form that’s meant to be sung. It’s three lines with 14 to 16 syllables per line. The first line introduces the subject, the second line develops it, and the third features a twist and conclusion. The syllable breakdown per line traditionally is 3-4-4-4, 3-4-4-4, 3-5-4-3, and there’s supposed to be a pause in each line.

Did I do all that? Well, mostly. I think I got pretty close.

I got my point across, anyway.

Billy Rocks

Miles and years away from his birth, his face a stranger.
His blades carve himself a partner, notch himself a place to belong.
His home is a grave with his dearest friend his closest neighbor.

Unofficial NaNo 2024 Failure…Or Was It?

As I explained at the beginning of the month, I was prepared to do an unofficial NaNo for reasons, using it as an opportunity to put Stateline into its third form. Everything was on track to do the thing.

And then life went pear-shaped.

I’m not talking about the election fallout, though that did dampen my motivation somewhat. I was able to write through it back in 2016, though I admit my final first draft is one hell of a mess that I should revise, but don’t want to wade into because I know how much rewriting awaits me.

Anyway, no, this “make plans and God laughs” insult was leveled at me on a personal level. Eventually, I’ll get to the point where I can recap it, but until then, I need you to accept on blind faith that everything went to hell.

My initial reaction was to flail, to find a way to keep my word count up at all costs, forgo sleep and run myself into the ground to make it happen. That’s what good writers do. They persevere no matter what.

Blessedly, in the nick of time I remembered I’m not a good writer.

I also took a critical look at my motivations and circumstances. I had to ask myself why I was so intent on winning an unofficial NaNo, especially when I had nothing left to prove. I’d done twenty NaNos prior to this and won most of them. Without bragging, I can honestly say that I know how to write 50,000 words in a month and that I can do it. What do I gain by making myself write all of those words during an incredibly stressful period of my existence? More stress? When I already have too much? No thank you.

This led to a surprisingly mature and intelligent decision from myself. I know. I was shocked, too.

I decided that I was not going to write 1,700 words a day in order to ensure I wrote 50,000 words this month. Instead, I decided that I was going to write a manageable number of words every day this month. I thought it was going to be 500 words a day, and I managed that for a week, but then ended up reducing that to a minimum of 100 words a day. If I could write more than that, great. Otherwise, I wasn’t going to be beat myself up for slow progress.

So, I may not get 50,000 words written this month, but I will at least finish thirty days with some words written and I need to learn how to be happy with that when life decides to take it sideways.

In a curious, unexpected twist, there was also a poem-a-day challenge going on this month, which I decided to participate in because it would be easy to catch up if I missed a day or two. Once everything went tits up, I found that writing a poem to fit the day’s theme was a bright spot in all of the stress. It was something I looked forward to and made writing my words a lot easier.

It turns out that the challenges of November weren’t really of the writing kind at all.