Writing–How Will I NaNo with Three Jobs?

October 29, 2013October 24, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I had three jobs last year when I did NaNo and I came through it just fine, true. But last year I was only kid minding in the morning. Now I’m kid minding in the afternoon, too. Writing time may get a little scarce and/or awkward.

The days when I kid mind and teach will be the toughest. I usually have a spare hour, hour and a half before teaching that I can use to get down some words. The more the better, obviously, and this is probably when I’ll try to get the bulk of the writing done during the day. And I can write a little more by hand during afternoon kid minding. The rest will have to be done after dinner, if there are any words left to get.

I have a feeling that getting my absolute minimum will likely be my goal on those days. No overachieving will be happening, thanks.

Of course, I’m saying all of this with the anticipation that I will struggle on those days. It’s entirely possible that I won’t have much trouble, that the pressure of getting my words done in a short time will motivate me and I’ll get my word count for the day in no time.

And then I’ll end up struggling on the easy days when I have more time.

The balance must be maintained, you know.

I realize that I could always make up any low word counts on my days off. I try to get double the word count on the weekends anyway. But there’s something in me that wants to see my little word count graph steadily rising. Even if I win NaNo and hit my word count and finish my project, that little flatline will haunt me. I have a daily word count and I’m determined to stick to it.

If I sound a little paranoid, well, that’s how my brain operates. I anticipate the worst and prepare for it, even though more likely than not, I’m worrying for nothing. In this case, I’m probably worrying for nothing.

Whatever. I like to have a plan.

Writing–Polishing the Ivy Novella

October 23, 2013October 21, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

No, this damn novella still doesn’t have a title, but I can at least call it almost done (my beta reader found a HUGE problem that I have to figure out how to fix, but that’s another post).

When we last left this novella, I was in the process of revising it, specifically focusing on cutting down the word count. And I hated it as a story. That happens sometimes for me when I revise projects. I get to the point where I think it’s shit and I no longer want to even look at it. Some projects I learn to love again; some I never do.

I honestly thought that Ivy was going to fall into the the latter category. I didn’t think it was that great and was really considering not to self-publish it like I had planned (setting up another dilemma of me not keeping my word, which is an issue that’s another post all together). But I was determined to at least see it through to the end. I wanted it to be completely done even if I did decide to shelve it.

And then I started polishing the piece.

For me, polishing means I start at the very last sentence of the work and read the whole thing backwards, one sentence at a time. It’s a trick my honors English teacher taught us. It takes the sentence out of the context of the story so you can find errors more easily (your brain isn’t lulled and reading things the way they’re supposed to be, not the way they are).

It was during this polishing business that I found that I did like the Ivy novella, a lot more than I thought I did. Sure, it still has some issues that need to be cleaned up, but on the whole, it’s a lot more enjoyable for me now than it was before.

I guess reading it backwards helped me shake it loose from the context of my dislike, too.

If only it could have given me a title for it.

Writing–Boys and Girls

October 16, 2013October 13, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I’ve heard people say that they can’t write women. Or they can’t write men. And I can’t understand that.

Okay, I can understand it but I can’t because I’ve never had any trouble with it, and I guess I’ve never had any trouble with it because I really don’t put much thought into it. I have this annoying tendency to write people and not think much about their genitals, I suppose.

Typically, when I start working on a story, I know pretty quickly whether or not the POV character or main character is a man or a woman (though, “Spillway” was in first person and I never identified the gender of the character). I’m not sure how I come to that decision or what the science is behind it. If Stephen King is right and stories are found things, then it’s really a choice made for me.

However it’s decided, once it’s decided, I don’t think much about it. Gender is part of the character, sure, but I tend not make a huge thing about it. I don’t feel compelled to swathe my characters in pink or blue; I just write about certain people in certain situations and call it good.

This isn’t to say that sex and gender isn’t a serious contributing factor to people’s lives and experiences. Hello, I’m a woman. I’m quite familiar how that impacts my behaviors and personality and life in the overall. I also know that sex and gender is much more complex than what I’m talking about here, which is only the very simplest and most basic concepts.

I suppose what I mean to say is that I don’t stress over writing POV from a particular gender. While there are differences, I don’t consider them to be great hang-ups to throw my hands up over and say I can’t write them.

The more I try to explain myself, the worse I make it sound.

Basically, what it boils down to is that I can write people and very little prevents me from doing it with some competence.

There.

Writing–2013 Reading Goals Update…Again

October 11, 2013October 4, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

With a little less than three months to go, here’s where I’m at.

Of my goal of 24 books, I’ve read 20. Yay!

Since July, I’ve read one more non-fiction book which brings my total to five.

Since July, I’ve read five more fiction books which brings my total to twelve.

The non-fiction book wasn’t a re-read (yay!)

Of the five fiction books, I’d count four of them as being outside of my usual genre.

So, if you add this all up, carry the one, subtract the one non-fiction re-read…then I need to read six more non-fiction books and two more fiction books. And since I’ve been so good at reading outside my genre, the last two books can be horror if I want them to be, which is good because I just got Stephen King’s Dr. Sleep.

I’ve made up quite a bit of ground after my first six months of fail, but I’m still really lacking in my non-fiction reads. This is kind of frustrating considering how much non-fiction I used to read. You’d think it be easy for me to find a few books on various subjects to read about and yet…no. I’m really struggling in this department for some reason. It’s become an effort to get over it

So I need to read a total of eight books before the end of the year and most of them need to be non-fiction.

I’m sure I can do that.

Maybe.

Ugh. When did reading get so hard for me?

Writing–Writing Left-Handed

October 7, 2013October 4, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I do believe that I’ve mentioned before that I’m teaching myself to write left-handed. I’m weirdly ambidextrous to begin with, more comfortable doing things with my left hand and catching myself doing things with my left hand instead of my right, so teaching myself to write left-handed seemed like a good idea.

Lately, I’ve only been practicing a little bit and I decided that since I’m coming along well enough it was time to challenge myself.

I’ve decided to write a short story in longhand left-handed.

The short story I have in mind shouldn’t be very long, around 1,000 words, and I don’t imagine pushing myself more than half of a page written at a time because I would imagine the crippled-snail pace will frustrate me as I won’t be able to get the words out as fast as I want and I don’t want this to turn into an episode of The Incredible Hulk. I’m hard enough on my clothes without fits of Lou Ferrigno transformation.

Anyway.

This exercise will accomplish two things.

One, practice my left-handed writing skills, of course.

Two, writing in a different way.

I like to write my short stories in longhand. I don’t know why, but for me they just flow better on paper than on the computer (though I will write them on my laptop from time to time). I need to alter that flow a little bit. See if writing with my other hand switches anything up, makes me think differently.

Sometimes I think I get a little complacent with my writing. I have a routine to my work, of course, because that makes the daily grind of words less like work and more like habit. But I don’t want to get so predictable in my routine that I get boring. Setting my word goals, writing at a designated time each day, that all stays. But there’s nothing that says I HAVE to write a certain way. There’s no rule that says I must write this short story longhand with my right hand and then type it up on the laptop.

Hell, I can chisel it on a stone tablet if I want to, so long as I do it at the appointed time during my day.

I’m not breaking the rhythm. I’m just jazzing up the steps to the dance.

This is just a little experiment to see what, if anything, happens.

It keeps the whole mundane business of putting words down on paper interesting.

Writing–October Projects

October 1, 2013September 27, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

October means one thing: NaNoWriMo prep. Well, it means a lot of other things, too, but when it comes to writing, getting ready for NaNoWriMo is first and foremost. I have a project in mind, but I’m not sure I’ll end up going through with it as it’s not technically a novel and I’m typically very serious business about sticking to the rules (even if the site itself gives you the option to bend them).

But that’s what October is for me. Running ideas up my NaNo flagpole and seeing which one I want to salute and then getting it ready for November.

In case I have a few more hours to fill, I’m going to try to finish the Ivy novella to the very last polish (and finally come up with a damn title!) and finish the other novella I started writing as soon as I was finished writing the first draft of the other novella I started last month that, like the Ivy novella, doesn’t have a title, but I call it Hatchet so I know what I’m talking about when I’m talking to myself and making To Do List notes. The latest novella is called She’s Not Here Anymore because sometimes I CAN come up with a title before the thing has been in existence for months.

I’ve also got ideas for a couple of short stories and I might try to scribble out the first drafts of those before NaNo eats my brain.

I’m feeling very motivated, writing-wise.

What can I say?

Autumn brings out the best in me.

Writing–Adjusting Expectations

September 18, 2013September 13, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ 1 Comment

When I start the first draft of a project, I establish a certain daily minimum goal for it. Short stories I’m writing longhand, I go for at least one page in my notebook. For novels during NaNoWriMo, my unshakable goal is always 2,000 words. Sometimes, depending on the story and the deadline, it’s just a matter of getting down on particular scene, no matter how long or short.

With the current novella I’m working, I set the word count low due to working three jobs and this being a non-priority story. I didn’t want to stress myself out with a too-high count and depress myself on the days I couldn’t make it. I decided on at least 500 word as the minimum I had to make on the days I worked two or more jobs. It was low enough to be stress-free on those sometimes stressful days, but enough words that it would still count as progress. On the other days, I set 1,000 words as my minimum, which I find reasonable enough for a novella I’m writing while working on other projects.

However, I’ve noticed that on the 500 word days I feel like I’m slacking. I hit my goal, usually going at least a few words over goal, either in the morning before I teach after I’m done with revisions on the Ivy novella, or after I make and eat dinner in the evening. Either way, it gets done, but it doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough. I should be doing MORE.

I know better, in way. If I give into this feeling that I’m slacking and try to do more, then it’s all I do. The word count will never be enough because I’ll still have time to do more. It’ll take over the time I have to do other things, like read or relax or sleep. In other words, I’ll give this novella top priority when it doesn’t need it. There’s no timetable for this novella, no deadline. Writing at least 500 words a day, no matter how many jobs I’m working or what other projects I’m doing is fine.

I’m just going to have to make myself accept that.

Writing–The “Powerless” Saga

September 16, 2013September 13, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

Last week marked the end of an on-going issue with one of my stories.

I sold “Powerless” to a small magazine that shall remain nameless. When the story was accepted, it was explained that they wanted the story for the March 2013 issue and would I be okay with the wait. I was because even though my pocket would have to wait to receive payment, my ego was more than satisfied.

However, March came and instead of publication and payment, I received an email stating that the original publication had been bought by another publisher and things were a little crazy. New contracts and publishing schedules would be forthcoming.

In May, the new contract request came and I fulfilled it.

And then I waited.

A couple of posts on their Facebook page kept us authors informed, sort of, but other than that…we were all left waiting all summer.

(I’m one of those writers that tires not to ever inquire about a submission or publication status. It makes me feel like an amateur and a nag. I know I’m well-within my rights, but well…that’s another post.)

Last week, I received a final email. According to the former employee writing the email, the new publisher had no timetable for publication and possibly no funds to pay the writers for their work. Kind of a problem since we’d all basically re-upped our contracts for another year.

The email informed us of everything they knew and left it up to us as to whether we wanted to stick it out or not. If we wanted out of our contracts, they advised us how to do it, since they didn’t have the authority to release our rights. The email closed by wishing us all well.

I thought about it for a few hours. Well, first I let my agitation die down and then I thought about it.

I could leave my story with the new publisher with the hope they’d get their shit together and publish my story before the contract expired and actually paid me.

Or I could take my ball and go home.

I decided on the latter.

I don’t want to deal with shady people if I don’t have to. And I consider this bit of roundabout I’ve been through this year to be a bit shady.

Besides, this story will fit nicely into my own anthology.

Silver lining.

Writing–From Doubt to New Idea

September 4, 2013August 29, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

After the Short Story Disappointment of August, I found myself re-evaluating my worth, dedication, and ability as a writer. Periods of writer’s doubt are common for me. I think a lot of writers go through it once in a while. But this one had me really questioning myself as a writer.

In the end, I realized a few things about myself.

One, I’m always going to be a writer. Even if I can never make a living off of it, I’m always going to do it. It’s just what I do. Because when I sat down and asked myself, “Okay, self, what is it that you really want to do with your life?” the answer that came immediately was “Write”. Yes, I like to do other things. Yes, I make money other ways and I’m always exploring new ways to make money that I think would be fun and engaging. I’m really selfish in the fact that I want to do what I want to do as often as possible and I do what I can to make that happen. But the number one thing I want to do is write, so that’s what I’m going to do.

The second thing I realized is that I don’t think I’m good enough to make a living as a writer. Oh sure, plenty of crap writers get published and make bajillions of dollars (I don’t think I need to be naming names here). However, they also at least have an idea that is marketable, that the public drools for, that can be sold to the masses. I don’t have that. My brain doesn’t work that way. I don’t have the inherent ability to be popular and by extension, the stuff I write isn’t popular. Because of this I realize that I will probably never be able to sell a book to a traditional publisher. I just don’t have what they want because what they want is to make money (and I don’t blame them because that’s what we all want, baby). There is no need to waste an agent’s time because I don’t have the goods for the market. No fair asking them to sell bruised peaches to folks looking for shiny apples. They’ll never earn a living that way and neither will I.

The final thing I realized is that, you know, self-publishing might just be it for me. I AM good enough for that. And we’re rapidly moving away from the stigma of self-publishing being for losers. I do like self-publishing for the most part. I hate the formatting, but I like the control I have over what I publish, what the cover looks like, where I publish it, and so forth. I’m not a control-freak (some people might disagree), but I do like the autonomy of doing it myself. Yeah, it doesn’t translate into great sales, but it does provide that rush of accomplishment I get when something of mine does get published, but in this case, it’s just coming on my terms instead of someone else’s.

This latest batch of writer’s doubt has put a new perspective on who I am as a writer. It’s often too easy for me to put myself down because I’m not like other writers. Now I’m operating from the position that it’s okay if I’m not because I’m doing my own thing anyway. I shouldn’t be doing their thing. My own is just fine.

So pardon me while I groove.

Writing–September Projects

September 2, 2013August 29, 2013 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

After the disaster that was August, I’m ready to switch gears and leave my disappointments in the dust, like I would totally do every day if I could afford the Chevelle on the car lot near my house.

Anyway.

My two main goals this month are to get back to revisions on the Ivy novella (and hopefully give the damn thing a name) and start writing the latest horror novella idea.

I feel like the month away from the Ivy novella has given me a nice respite and a new perspective on it. I think I have a better idea of what I need to do with it to get it the way I want it. I’m thinking that, if all goes well, I should still be able to get it up as an e-book before the end of the year, possibly before NaNo. However, I’m saying that tentatively. I saw what smugness did to me last month.

I think writing this new novella idea will be just the break I need from the trouble I’ve been having with the short stories. The idea has mellowed long enough that I think I’m ready to put it down on paper, so to speak, and I think the act of writing something new and something longer might help my creative issues when it comes to revising my short stories and getting them to work out the way I want them to.

I’m also back to kid-minding in the morning (and now the afternoon as well) a few days a week. I think my morning project will be this non-fiction thing that I’ve been scribbling about since January. I still don’t know what it is exactly, but I’ve filled a whole notebook about it. I’ve got a new notebook and I’m going to keep scribbling. Eventually, I’m going to get to the heart of this beast and know its name. Might as well do it in the mornings while I’m waiting for the kid to get ready for school during the moments I don’t have a kitten crawling up my leg.

I feel this will be sufficient to keep me busy without completely crushing my soul since none of it has to be finished before the end of the month.

Ego rebound month.