Writing–Time to Loosen Up

July 31, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

When I first started this blog, I set up themed days and a nice schedule that insured that I would update at least three times a week and I’d always have an idea of what the blog post would be for each given day. It was a way of establishing my blog, a safety net, in a way, so I never found myself slacking.

Now that I’ve been at this for a couple of years, I’m finding the safety net a little too constricting. There are times when I can’t think of anything I’d like to write for the Monday blog post, but month’s worth of Wednesday topics. There are times when I want to post something for Friday immediately…but it’s only Tuesday. And then there’s this new idea that I think Rerun Junkie should be its own thing instead of being relegated to just Fridays.

It’s time for me to loosen up and trust that I’ll be able to blog randomly, but regularly throughout the week. I need to trust that I’ve earned the freedom to roam a little, to blog when I want to without the restriction on days.

And of course, if it doesn’t work out, if I find the ideas drying up without a designated day or if I find myself posting too infrequently, the old structure will still be standing there for me to go back to.

But I feel like I need to bust out and start something new.

Time to liven up the joint.

Writing–Like Love Letters

July 24, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I read Stephen King’s On Writing at least once a year. It reminds me that it’s okay for me to write what I want to write and how I want to write it just so long as I’m being true to myself and the work. I need that reminder every so often, particularly during the long, barren stretches when nothing is getting accepted, published, or read.

In the book, he talks about having an “ideal reader”, someone you have in mind when you write your story. It could be anybody. It can be your wife, your husband, your best friend, your cousin, the shlub down the street that throws things at the pine trees when it rains. Anybody. The person doesn’t even have to be living. Considering their current popularity, even zombies could be ideal readers nowadays.

I’ve developed an odd take on this. I don’t really have an ideal reader exactly. At least, that’s not how I look at it. To me, my stories are my love letters to certain people. There are certain people I have in mind when I write them. When I put those stories out there, traditionally or self-published or whatever, I’m hoping that those particular people read their particular stories. I want them to read them and know that I’m thinking of them.

Love letters.

Most of the people I’m thinking of will never read what I’ve written. Many of them don’t even know I exist. But just in case they should happen to stumble upon something I’ve done…

I’ve never been good at expressing my emotions. I’m better at it when I write them down. I’m unbeaten at it when I can express myself through fiction with the relative comfort that the love letter I’m writing won’t be interpreted as such, isn’t obvious, and likely won’t even by read by the intended.

But, like I said. If they do happen to stumble upon that story I wrote just for them, I hope they read it and I hope they know it was sealed with a kiss, just for them.

I bet you didn’t realize that horror could be so mushy in a non-entrails sort of way, huh?

Writing–Nothing for The Nothing Man

July 17, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

Please let it be understood that I never figured on becoming some best-selling author through self-publishing (although I will not deny how nice that would be). However, I figured it might be a way to make a few sales and a little money and at least have something to refer to when people asked me what I write.

However, something perplexing has happened with my latest self-published novella, Night of the Nothing Man. I thought it would go the same way Gone Missing did, with a few sales from friends and/or family after it was first published and then a surprise sale here and there. Maybe the sales would be a little bit better because it was the latest hit on the parade, but still nothing unrealistic.

It turns out reality couldn’t even measure up to my realistic expectations.

I haven’t sold one copy of it. Not. One. Not even a pity sale from friends/family. It’s both baffling and perplexing.

So now I’m stuck trying to figure out what went wrong and why no one wants to read it.

It could be that it’s because I priced it at $1.99 instead of $.99. That whole dollar might make a big difference. Folks might think it’s not worth that extra buck. I think it is, but I’m not the one looking for something to read on the cheap.

It could be that no one is interested in the story. I guess a stalking/chase yarn set in the 70’s may not be very appealing to today’s high-tech crowd.

It could be that I’m not flogging it as well as I shilled the first one.

It could be that I’m working a bit of reverse psychology on folks and people interested in Nothing Man end up getting Gone Missing instead because it’s a cheaper way to try me out because instead of selling the former, I have had a few more sales of the latter.

Whatever it is, I’d like to figure it out so I can avoid the same mistakes, whatever they are, when it comes time for me to self-publish my next venture. I’d like to see progress, getting more and more readers the more I publish, not fewer.

And, no, this isn’t a cry for folks to buy Night of the Nothing Man. I’m not trying to guilt anyone. If you feel so inclined to read the story, you can get it on Amazon and Smashwords. But, please get it because you WANT to read it.

Because in the end, that’s what I really want, too.

Writing–Reading Goals Update

July 10, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

When we last left our heroine, she was embarking on a trek to read twenty-four books, ten of them being non-fiction, one of those being a memoir, no more than eight of them being from the horror genre, and only two of them total being re-reads.

Well, here’s where our heroine is now…

She’s not being much of a heroine.

I’ve read eleven books so far. Not even half-way done. Of those eleven I’ve read, four have been non-fiction and seven have been fiction. Of the non-fiction, two have been re-reads (oops) and two have been memoirs (good job!). Of the fiction, three have been horror, three have been outside my comfort genres, none have been re-reads (yet), and two have been by folks like myself (good job!).

I fully admit to struggling with my reading this year. I don’t feel like it. Nothing sounds good. Nothing is what I want to read at the time. I’ve just been a real pain in the ass about it. And because I’ve been such a pain in the ass about it and I’ve been struggling with it, I haven’t been posting reviews of everything I’ve read. I’m thinking that I’ll just do a few more as I feel the need, and then just give a final list at the end of the year in case folks are looking for new titles. It’s not like my reviews are worth a whole lot to begin with. They were mostly just proof that I’d actually read what I said I’d read. This year you’re going to have to take my word for it.

I’ve got plenty of time to make up for what I haven’t been doing and make my goals. If I break it down, I’ve got seven more non-fiction to read (can’t count one of the re-reads), and seven more fiction (one of which can be a re-read).

It doesn’t look quite as overwhelming when I put it that way.

Except that it does.

Stupid math.

Five Weird Searches That Led Here

July 5, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I’ll be honest. If it weren’t for Starsky and Hutch fans, Randolph Mantooth stalkers, and folks in need of fat girl nudie pics, my blog wouldn’t get much action.

A lot of the searches that lead here are pretty run of the mill and make sense. As a Rerun Junkie I write about old TV shows, so searches, weird or not, relating to them make sense (hence all of the Starsky and Hutch/Randolph Mantooth folks ending up here). I write about being a fat girl (sorry, no nude pics), belly dancing, being tactless, breast reduction, the Cubs, the CornBelters, writing, bisexuality, etc. and getting tangent searches related to those keywords make sense.

Even so, some searches make me raise an eyebrow.

Here are five of the weirdest searches that led people here (and probably disappointed the hell out of them):

1. “magical plants to deter unwanted visitors”–I can understand the deterring unwanted visitors part, but I’m not exactly sure what’s intended by “magical”. Like Harry Potter magical or pagan magical or “Hey, my mother-in-law hates azaleas! Plant them everywhere!” magical?

2. “huge titties weightless enviorment”/”boobs in weightless environment”–Either the space station is cashing in on a very specific porn market or they’re missing out on one.

3. “stuff i just figured out about scooby doo”–More questions than answers here, folks.

4. “burnt popcorn smoke inhalation”–If this is a medical emergency, you should really contact a physician. Also, give up cooking for life.

5. “jesus zombie chocolate fertility bunny”–This sounds like the best Easter mash-up celebration ever and the only thing that makes it better is that this exact search hit my blog twice.

The Internet is an interesting place.

Writing–July Projects

July 3, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I don’t really have a lot going on this month, if I’m going to be honest.

I’ve finished cutting down and revising the Ivy novel into a novella. I did that at the end of last month after unexpectedly finishing everything I had planned over a week early. I needed to do something productive and that was it. I’m going to let it rest a couple of weeks and then go through another round of revisions on it.

Remember how I said the short story anthology I was working on was subject to change? Well, a change has come. I think one of the stories would work for a short story contest. All I’ve got to do is cut about thirty words from it to hit the word limit. So I’m going to do that. Meanwhile, I’m going to revise the new stories written for the anthology (again) and then start really looking at putting the thing together. I think I’ve got more holes in this plan than I initially thought, even before submitting one of the stories.

And…that’s it. All that’s left are little things, like doing a couple of essays I’ve got ideas for, but keep putting off doing and doing some organizing stuff.

Now watch. I think this month is light and I’ll end up racing to get it all done by the end of the month.

Writing–I’m Done…Now What?

June 26, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I finished my last pass on The World (Saving) Series. So now I’m faced with the questions I didn’t want to answer earlier this month when I was making out my goals list.

Now what do I do?

I can’t go any farther with the manuscript on my own, that’s for sure. I’m not going to see any other changes that need to be done (though it’s possible that I could find grammar errors that I missed). I don’t have a regular beta reader and of the few friends that I’ve used in that role, I’ve never had them read a full-length novel manuscript before. I’m not sure I can impose on their time like that.

But even if I do eventually have this thing go through beta or ultimately decide not to, then what? What do I want to do with it? Do I want to try to use it to land an agent? Do I want to try to get it published with a traditional publisher? Do I want to self-publish it? Or do I want to just shelve it, chalk it up to learning since first novel manuscripts don’t usually sell anyway, and then move on to to something else?

I’ve asked all of these questions before, probably on this blog, but now they’re not hypothetical. They’re not in the future. They’re really here, in front of me, waiting to be answered.

And I don’t have the answers right now.

I think, right now, at least for a little while, it’s going in a metaphorical drawer. I’m just going to enjoy the doneness for a bit, the sense of accomplishment that I actually saw a novel manuscript through to the end. Put off the questions for a little while longer.

Maybe in that time, when the glamour wears off and I start feeling the weight of that finished beast sitting on my hard drive, I’ll come up with the answers.

Or maybe at least find a beta reader that I don’t mind punishing.

“Are You Really Writing Books?”

June 24, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

A friend of mine posted that on a link to my Amazon Author’s Page that I posted on Facebook, my meager attempt to try to drum up a little business.

People who frequent my blog on Wednesdays or happen to catch the appropriate Tweet on my Twitter feed might think this is a stupid question. But, actually, it’s valid.

Yes, I am writing books. I’m also writing short stories and novellas and blog posts and journal entries and non-fiction blobs and episode summaries of a TV show that doesn’t exist. Some of these will be published by a real publisher, some will be self-published, and some will never see the light of day. It’s a thing that’s happening whether I talk about it or not. Like my exercise routine or specific food intake. Even if I don’t feel compelled to tell people about it, it’s still happening.

Now, I talk a bit about my writing on the Internet, specifically on Wednesdays. I mention it on occasion on my Twitter. I post about my stories getting accepted and rejected and my self-publishing ventures in between. But I don’t talk about these things much off the ‘net.

Why?

Well, because.

Because I don’t want to answer all of the questions that inevitably come up after I mention that I’m a writer. “What do you write?” is always the lead-off and then it goes from there, down the rabbit hole of awkwardness because, see, I don’t make a living off of my writing (yet) and I’m not at all a best-seller (yet) and I’m definitely not famous (I’m cool with that). You’re not going to find my stuff on the shelves (yet). And the conversation sort of fizzles and dies because, well, how can I possibly be a REAL writer if I’m not making a living off of it?

The lead-off question has another pitfall. I answer that question honestly by saying, “Horror fiction mostly”, which leads people to say, “Oh, like Stephen King?”

I adore Stephen King. We all know that. But the answer is no, not like Stephen King. Stephen King is an educated, literate, well-read man who can craft eloquent sentences and amazing imagery despite his sometimes gruesome subject matter.

I, on the other hand, am a three-time college dropout, who doesn’t read anything she’s supposed to and definitely not as much as she’s supposed to, and only by virtue of chance can string together a few words to form coherent sentences that sometimes illustrate her bizarre and sometimes horrific imagination.

I am nothing like Stephen King and neither is what I write. Our genre is the only thing that connects us.

The other reason I don’t talk about my writing is simply because I get the feeling no one is interested. It’s not like a regular job. It’s hard for other people to relate to what I do. And since I don’t like to talk much about works-in-progress, the conversation is pretty short if steered in that direction. As for talking about the works I’ve done, well, horror isn’t everybody’s bag. It isn’t most people’s bag. And if they don’t like to read it, then they don’t like to talk about it.

I guess I’ve become accustomed to not discussing my writing life outside of the Internet. Which is a problem when it comes to me trying to get people to read my work, but the funny thing is, I don’t look past the Internet for readers either. In fact, when it comes to my writing life, it only seems to exist online.

Maybe I should consider branching out.

Writing–Format This

June 19, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

In my quest to accomplish my goals for this month, I need to publish Gone Missing and Night of the Nothing Man on Amazon.

My biggest obstacle to this is formatting the stories to be published on Amazon.

It’s my least favorite chore when it comes to self-publishing. I can do it, but I don’t like to do it. The act of following the directions so I can properly format my manuscript awakens some sort of perfectionist Kraken in me that makes my life difficult. I’m not saying that I shouldn’t strive to do my best; but that bit of perfectionist in me denies that I’m capable of anything close to best. So when the Perfection-Kraken comes out, the task becomes about six times harder than it needs to be.

And then there’s that tendency I have from childhood that demands I get everything right the first time. I need to be able to know it and do it immediately. The fact that I’ve done this before (even if it was a few years ago) amps up that demand. I shouldn’t have any trouble with this because I’ve done it before and once was enough. For whatever reason, this line of thinking also leads me to believe that there are no do-overs. That it is essential that I get it right the first time because I won’t be allowed to fix anything, which isn’t true.

Finally, there’s my paranoia that if I do mess something up, I won’t be able to fix it and it will break the delicate balance of the Universe and the blood rain will be all my fault.

Okay, what I’m getting at is that just knowing that I have to format a manuscript for self-publishing sets my anxiety choo-choo in motion, pulling cars and cars full of procrastination.

It’s only until I make myself do it that the anxiety abates and by the time I’m finished, I’m kicking myself for not getting to work on it sooner.

It was worse this time around because all I had to do was some minor changes and do a little battle with Night of the Nothing Man‘s table of contents. All told it took me about an hour, maybe an hour and half to get both of them done and uploaded.

Yep. Two weeks of anxiety and procrastination for less than two hours work.

At least they’re done now.

Gone Missing

Night of the Nothing Man

Writing–I’ll Get It Right Eventually

June 12, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I first got the idea for “The Backroom” about six years ago (has it been that long?). When I started writing the story, though, it ended up being something different. After a couple of rounds of revisions I re-titled it “Customer Service” and ended up self-publishing it in Rejected.

But the original idea, one that never really made it down on paper, stayed with me. For my latest self-published anthology project (should it come to be), I decided to give it another go.

I wrote the first draft and typed it up. It was closer to my original idea than “Customer Service” ever was, but it still wasn’t there yet.

And so, I’m re-writing it. This time, I’m going to nail it. I swear. Really. It’s going to happen.

That happens sometimes. The transition from idea to written word doesn’t always go the way I think it will. Sometimes it works out in my favor and I end up with something better than my original idea. And sometimes it works out like “The Backroom”. “Customer Service” isn’t better than my original plan, just different. It doesn’t satisfy the thought bubble surrounding this story that’s floating around in my head.

This newest version of “The Backroom” idea is going to be the closest I’ve come to getting what’s in my head down on paper. It’s not exactly the way I want to do it, but it will satisfy the idea itch that I’ve been carrying around for years. It will likely be re-written again, if not heavily revised.

But that’s the goal, isn’t it?

Eventually, I’m going to get this story right.