Writing–Format This

June 19, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

In my quest to accomplish my goals for this month, I need to publish Gone Missing and Night of the Nothing Man on Amazon.

My biggest obstacle to this is formatting the stories to be published on Amazon.

It’s my least favorite chore when it comes to self-publishing. I can do it, but I don’t like to do it. The act of following the directions so I can properly format my manuscript awakens some sort of perfectionist Kraken in me that makes my life difficult. I’m not saying that I shouldn’t strive to do my best; but that bit of perfectionist in me denies that I’m capable of anything close to best. So when the Perfection-Kraken comes out, the task becomes about six times harder than it needs to be.

And then there’s that tendency I have from childhood that demands I get everything right the first time. I need to be able to know it and do it immediately. The fact that I’ve done this before (even if it was a few years ago) amps up that demand. I shouldn’t have any trouble with this because I’ve done it before and once was enough. For whatever reason, this line of thinking also leads me to believe that there are no do-overs. That it is essential that I get it right the first time because I won’t be allowed to fix anything, which isn’t true.

Finally, there’s my paranoia that if I do mess something up, I won’t be able to fix it and it will break the delicate balance of the Universe and the blood rain will be all my fault.

Okay, what I’m getting at is that just knowing that I have to format a manuscript for self-publishing sets my anxiety choo-choo in motion, pulling cars and cars full of procrastination.

It’s only until I make myself do it that the anxiety abates and by the time I’m finished, I’m kicking myself for not getting to work on it sooner.

It was worse this time around because all I had to do was some minor changes and do a little battle with Night of the Nothing Man‘s table of contents. All told it took me about an hour, maybe an hour and half to get both of them done and uploaded.

Yep. Two weeks of anxiety and procrastination for less than two hours work.

At least they’re done now.

Gone Missing

Night of the Nothing Man

Writing–I’ll Get It Right Eventually

June 12, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I first got the idea for “The Backroom” about six years ago (has it been that long?). When I started writing the story, though, it ended up being something different. After a couple of rounds of revisions I re-titled it “Customer Service” and ended up self-publishing it in Rejected.

But the original idea, one that never really made it down on paper, stayed with me. For my latest self-published anthology project (should it come to be), I decided to give it another go.

I wrote the first draft and typed it up. It was closer to my original idea than “Customer Service” ever was, but it still wasn’t there yet.

And so, I’m re-writing it. This time, I’m going to nail it. I swear. Really. It’s going to happen.

That happens sometimes. The transition from idea to written word doesn’t always go the way I think it will. Sometimes it works out in my favor and I end up with something better than my original idea. And sometimes it works out like “The Backroom”. “Customer Service” isn’t better than my original plan, just different. It doesn’t satisfy the thought bubble surrounding this story that’s floating around in my head.

This newest version of “The Backroom” idea is going to be the closest I’ve come to getting what’s in my head down on paper. It’s not exactly the way I want to do it, but it will satisfy the idea itch that I’ve been carrying around for years. It will likely be re-written again, if not heavily revised.

But that’s the goal, isn’t it?

Eventually, I’m going to get this story right.

Writing–June Projects

June 5, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I actually have things and stuff to do this month!

First of all, I’m going to publish both Gone Missing and Night of the Nothing Man on Amazon. I kind of hoped that Smashwords would be enough, but it’s not. They need a little more exposure. I want people to read my poor, little novellas, dammit.

Speaking of self-publishing, I’ve got the first draft of four short stories done for my possible new anthology, so I’m going to start revising them. I still need one more story to finish out the collection to fit with the idea I have, but I’m not going to push that. It’s a late year thing, if it happens, so I’ve got plenty of time to come up with a final story.

After leaving it along for about a month, I’m going to start polishing The World (Saving) Series. One of my writing goals for the year was to have this thing achieve a state of doneness and if I can get it to happen in the next couple of months, that’d be swell. What happens after that is a completely different goal.

And I’ve always got my sooper sekrit projects to keep me busy and make me feel like I’ve got so many pressing things to accomplish if my ego needs a boost and I need to fill some time.

June won’t be dull.

Writing–Rereading the Written

May 29, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I’ve got several manuscripts that I’ve written that have been hanging out, waiting for me to get back to them. Some of them are just first drafts; others have had one or two rounds of heavy-lifting revision done to them. All of them were put to the side so I could focus on something else.

Since I didn’t have much going this month, I decided to read them all to see what I had and get reacquainted with them.

It was interesting to see where I was as a writer a few years ago. I can pretty much tell what was going on in my life just by reading the manuscript. It’s fascinating. Nobody else would be able to pick anything up, but I guess because I wrote it and lived it, I know exactly where I was.

Looking at the pieces in a more professional, critical light, I’m happy to say that all of them are workable to an extent. I could make them all into something that you wouldn’t gouge your eyes out while reading. Which is reassuring in a sense. There will always be work waiting for me because I’ve got four manuscripts in various states just waiting to be finished.

And it won’t be a waste to work on them since there’s something worth working on there.

I admit to liking some more than others. Spirited in Spite and A Tale of Two Lady Killers have gone through a couple of heavy-lifting revisions and their stories are pretty good. Fun, quick little things that won’t require too much more lifting to finish.

The untitled Ivy novel should probably be revised down to a novella because I padded that thing pretty hard. The other POVs can go (though I might save Leo’s and rewrite it as a short story). Sticking to solely Ivy and shortening it up will do the story wonders. I might also end up changing the location. We’ll see.

American Vampires, I don’t care for. It’s only a first draft, a NaNoWriMo draft at that, so it needs A LOT of work. And I know what I was trying to do with the original attempt at a story, but I missed the mark. Of all the pieces, I like this one least and it will take the most work. Somehow, though, I think it might be worth the effort. Eventually. I’m in no rush to get back to it.

When I’m done with The World (Saving) Series, it looks like I’m all set for the next revision project. I’ve got plenty to choose from.

Writing–What ARE You?

May 22, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been working on a non-fiction project since the first of the year (Sooper Sekrit Project #1). I wrote the bits and pieces of it in a notebook and nearly filled the thing up before I called it done enough to type up what I had.

So I typed up what I had.

And then I added more to the notebook, but I haven’t typed any of that up because what I’ve added isn’t done yet.

And then I jotted down some other ideas for it, but haven’t expanded on them yet.

And then I thought even more about the project.

And the only thing I can honestly say is that I have no idea what it’s going to be.

All of the bits and pieces and ideas and words and sentences and paragraphs and pages put together just add up to a mishmash of something with no real center or direction. I think it’s all good and useable and it all relates to each other, but it doesn’t exactly all go together, you know what I mean? It just doesn’t know what it wants to be.

I keep feeding it. It keeps growing. But it’s not assuming any kind of shape.

I think it might be the Blob.

I hope I can figure it out before I have to freeze it and drop it in Antarctica.

Writing–Getting Through It To Get To the Next

May 15, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ 1 Comment

I started writing a short story for my possible short story anthology. The idea came from my idea notebook and it seemed like a pretty good idea.

Until I started writing it.

Once I put down the first couple of sentences, I knew this story was a straight-up dud.

But I kept working on it until I found an ending. It came in at less than 1,000 words, but I was still able to call it done and that’s all that mattered to me.

I guess it sounds like a waste of time to finish a story that I know isn’t worth the ink I used writing it, but that’s just how I am. I’m a bit of a pack-rat. I don’t like to throw things away because I never know when I’ll need them. The same can be said of stories. Even if I have no faith in it while writing it, even if I know from the start that it’s a dud, I’ll go ahead and see it through, just in case. For all I know, I might be able to do something with it later. I might come along the spark that it’s missing. Well, if I come along that spark, but I don’t have a story to go with it, what kind of a waste is that?

So, I finish those stories that end up getting typed up and put away, just in case.

It’s not really wasted time for me. It’s a good exercise in perseverance in a way. I stuck with it until the bitter end and now I have something -something horribly crappy, usually- finished. It’s a test of how motivated I am as a writer. Can I finish this piece of garbage before I move on to work on something I really want to write? Something that usually pops into my head while I’m slaving away on the current piece of dreck haunting my life.

In the beginning, I would have just ditched it. I ditched a lot of things when I was younger because I wasn’t a writer then. Well, I wouldn’t call myself one. I’ve always been a writer, but before I admitted to myself and the world that I was a writer, things got left unfinished.

That doesn’t happen anymore.

Now I finish one thing just so I can move on to the next.

That’s what writers do.

Well, at least this one does.

Writing–I’ve Never Been This Close to Done Before

May 8, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I completed my latest round of revisions on The World (Saving) Series. I was about half-way through when it occurred to me how little revising I was actually doing. Then it dawned on me that I was doing little revising because the story, for the most part, is done. As in, I’m not adding or deleting any more scenes, I’m not changing any more of the plot, I’m not doing anymore tinkering.

The heavy-lifting is officially done.

And that’s when I had my little moment of panic.

I’ve never been this done with a novel manuscript before. This the farthest I’ve ever gone.

I’m scared out of my mind.

It’s like a trick or something. I’m at the point in revising when I’m moving more to polishing than really revising. Now it’s all down to the nuts and bolts, the word choice and phrasing. The little things.

So naturally, I’m paranoid.

Not having ever been this far, I’m now thinking that there must be SOMETHING that I’ve missed. Some giant, glaring error. Some heavy-lifting off in a corner that I’ve walked by a dozen times, but never noticed.

Because I can’t possibly be this close to being done.

It’s a weird feeling, like when you think you’ve left the iron on (do people still iron?). You’re just sure that it’s on, but it’s not, but you can’t shake the feeling that the damn thing is still on. I cannot shake the feeling that I can’t possibly be this close to being done.

But I am.

Oh, I’m not stupid. I’m sure a good and proper editor would have a field day shredding this manuscript and exposing every single flaw it contains (and I’d be fine with that). But the fact that I’ve gotten this manuscript to the point where I could polish it up and submit it without (much) reservation is a milestone. Never have I been so close to this kind of completion. To me, it counts for something.

It also brings to the forefront of my mind that I should have an idea of what I’m going to do with this manuscript. Do I try to submit it to agents to attempt to get representation? Do I just go ahead and shelve it and start working on something else since first novels almost never get anywhere? I don’t know. I’m in new territory here.

I never thought I’d ever get this done.

And I never thought getting this done would be so scary.

Writing–May Projects

May 1, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

Uhhh…I’m kind of at a loss of what I should be working on this month.

I’m going to finish up the latest round of revisions on The World (Saving) Series. I’m going to continue working on the short stories that I’m either going to submit or use for the self-published short story collection.

I’ve now got three sooper sekrit projects and I plan on continuing to work two of them (one of them I’ve kind of lost the heart for).

And aside from that…I don’t know.

It sounds like a lot, but it’s not really. I may take a look at a few of my other manuscripts, just to see if there’s anything I want to start working on, but I’m not sure I want to start another big revision project before I’m done with World.

Maybe I should take advantage of this slow month and catch up on my reading. I’ve been slacking the past couple of months.

Writing–And Then I Reconsider

April 24, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I sold my first story of 2013 last week. Yay! “Someone to Hold” found a home!

And while I’m very excited about this as placing a story always gives me a satisfying rush because it’s public acknowledgement that I’m a real writer, it has given me pause on another project.

I’m seriously considering self-publishing another short story anthology. The anthology would use the seven stories I’ve been flogging around for a while that are ready to go plus five new stories written with the anthology in mind. It’d be set up like a sort of calendar. I like this idea. I thought it’d work for a late year release.

And then “Someone to Hold” found a home.

Immediately, I started wondering about the seven stories that are sitting there waiting to be sent out. Since Duotrope went paid and I can’t afford to use it, I haven’t made much of an effort to send any of them out. Now I’m wondering if I’m not selling them short by self-publishing them.

Aside from the fact that they’ll never know the joy of having someone other than myself finding them publishable, the honest fact is that even if I was paid a one-time token rate of ten bucks for one of the stories, that’s probably more than the whole anthology would make in a year (or more, if I’m going to be REALLY honest).

This anthology idea that I thought was so great is now being viewed in a different light, professionally, creatively, and monetarily. It’s amazing how one little success can throw a wrench in something else.

So now I have to make a decision. Do I want to try to sell these stories or do I want to go with the anthology idea? Which would be better for the stories? Which would be better for me? Do I want that victory rush? Or another project that collects change?

Right now I don’t know.

I’ve got a lot to consider.

Writing–On Fanfiction

April 17, 2013January 22, 2016 ~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I wrote fanfiction for years. By the time it was all said and done, I’d written easily over 100 stories in twelve fandoms (that I remember). It’s very easy for most people to dismiss fanfiction (if you ignore the people that reconstituted their fanfic into bestsellers and you’re not one of the authors that likes to sue fanfic writers), but I cannot deny the contribution it made to my writing.

I’ve read some of my old stuff before, by now over ten years old in some cases, and I cringe. It’s filled with a voice so passive it doesn’t have a pulse. The descriptions are like vacant lots. Some of the stories are downright drivel (those, oddly enough, tended to be my most popular ones). None of them do I read and go, “Yeah! I can redo that and sell it!” because, yeah, no.

However, they’re not at all a waste. From the very first story, it was obvious that I had a good ear for dialogue. The quality of the stories improved over time. I was pretty good with tone and pacing. I was very good at picking up the canon and the characters. That’s something I pride myself on to this day. I was once able to write a good, in canon story in a fandom for a movie I’d never seen. My friend just told me the details I needed to know. The feedback praised my ability to write the main character so well. I still preen over that little victory.

Because I was at one time pumping out several stories a month, it was like a writing bootcamp in a way. Just by the sheer volume of words I was writing, I had no choice but to get better. Stephen King said that to be a writer you had to read a lot and write a lot and at that time, I was writing A LOT. It wasn’t all good, but it was something. And the something I was getting down helped me get better whether I realized it or not.

Now, I didn’t learn everything writing fanfiction. It wasn’t until well after my constant gush of words trickled to a drip of a story every once in a while that I learned the art of revisions. It was about then that I really got the hang of my passive voice problem. It’s been the years since then that I really refined my writing process into something that almost works well.

But, I can’t help but think how far behind I’d be if I hadn’t been writing all of those stories. Fanfiction gave me an opportunity to get better with immediate feedback and the a safe place to explore, experiment, and most importantly, write.

So, feel free to write fanfiction off.

Because I’m happy I wrote it.