My goal for 2013 is to be louder.
I want to be louder about who I am and what I want and what I’m doing.
I want to be louder in my support of my friends and the really cool things they do and the cool people they are.
I want to be louder in my support of my family, too.
I want to be louder about needing help and support.
I want to be louder about being a writer.
I want to be louder about being a Rerun Junkie.
I want to be louder about being a bad fan.
I want to be louder about being a fat girl.
I want to be louder about being a fat girl belly dancing.
I want to be louder about my fashion sense.
I want to be louder about getting what I want.
I want to be louder about having a good time.
In short, I want 2013 to be one hell of a noisy year.
I was going to do some kind of reflective, year-end post about 2012, but I’ll be honest…I don’t really feel like it.
Most of it was pretty boring. I did boring, routine things. I struggled to pay my bills, used up a big part of my savings, felt like a complete failure, failed to meet many of the writing goals, and totally lacked any kind of success on the professional front (and most of the personal front, too). Really nothing to get into or write the Internet about.
But I did rarely have the occasion to do some cool things. I went to Cubs Con and Casino Night. I saw the Cubs lose their 100th game of the season, but Pat Hughes waved at me and that totally kills any of that pain. Let me repeat that. Pat Hughes waved at me.
I was able to hang out with friends I hadn’t seen in a long time (Hi, Becca!) and I met some really cool people, too (Hi, Harry!). I reconnected via social media with some people I haven’t seen in ages (Hi, Josh!) and I met some really cool people that way, too (Hi, everybody!).
I found out just what I’d do to try to make a life and a career my way and just how frustrating and hard that can be (and just how frustrating and hard I can be, too).
I changed a little, grew a little. It wasn’t all fantastic and glamorous. Most of it wasn’t. But it wasn’t an absolute waste either.
2012 was okay. And it’s a good thing I went through it because I have a feeling that 2013 won’t be much different.