Tag: New Year

Setting the Vibe for 2026

~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

Christin aka KikiWrites is a middle aged white woman with short brown and silver hair and grey eyes. She's wearing teal and purple glasses and a blue and grey split plaid dress. She's doing her trademark smirk at the camera.I wasn’t actually going to do this post considering *gestures at literally everything*, but fuck it. World’s on fire. Doesn’t mean I have to burn. I can still catch a vibe.

Actually, this year, I’m looking to set two vibes.

The first vibe is to get healthy. Not lose weight. Get healthy. I could never lose enough weight to be loved in this society, so yeet that idea from your brain pan. This is about getting healthy. This is a mind/body/spirit venture. This involves me correcting bad habits, creating good habits, and hopefully getting rid of the tendonitis that has plagued me. Yes, it will involve taking better care of my soul’s meat vehicle, but it will also involve taking better care of my mental health, the health of my relationships, the health of my environment, the overall health of my life.

This is actually going to be a rather difficult vibe shift for me to achieve because for all of my selfishness (and I am a very selfish person), it does not translate into taking good care of myself. I’ve never been good at it. I have subtle, self-destructive tendencies that have proven hard habits to break. I’m addicted to negative self-talk disguised as being realistic. I have been subsisting on stress and anxiety for decades.

If I do not have patience and tolerance for people doing bad shit to others out in the world, then I can no longer have patience and tolerance for me doing bad shit to me in my existence. That kind of hypocrite behavior isn’t sustainable.

Related to this first vibe is the second vibe I want to set. I’m going to be more authentic. I’m going to be truer to myself. Does this mean I’m doing to be a better person? No. Absolutely the fuck not. At my core, I’m not a good person. Did you miss the part about being selfish? I’m not very thoughtful. Kindness does not come quickly or easily to me. My self-awareness is sometimes profoundly lacking. I struggle to be considerate. I judge like it’s my job and I get paid commission. I’m not gifted at helping others even when I want to or I try to. I have my flaws and defects and I am very aware of them.

However, I’m tired of restricting myself. I no longer want to hold myself back out of fear or perceived lack or possible rejection or inferred weakness. I don’t want happy and angry to be the only emotions I’m allowed to display. Worrying about how I’m perceived and what the neighbors might think has fucking exhausted me.

I want to openly and loudly care about who I care about in my own knobby, awkward way whether they like it or not. I’m not going to cross boundaries or be a doormat, but I’m going to support them and they’re just going to have to deal with it. I want to express unbridled joy and I want to feel my sadness and I want to be nervous in a healthy, excited way. I want to have tears of all kinds and not be ashamed of any of them.

I have been hard for so long. I’m ready to be soft. I’m ready to be authentically squishy. This doesn’t mean that I won’t have boundaries. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to allow someone to cross me or people I care about. Just because I choose to be softer doesn’t mean I’m not fierce and I’m no longer capable of violence. Remember what I said about being authentic. At my core I am a bad person. I will hurt your feelings and I will not feel guilty about it.

I already started leaning into these vibe shifts before the end of 2025. It felt right and I didn’t want to wait.

I don’t need anyone else’s starter pistol to tell me to go.

Finding the 2025 Vibe

~ Kiki Writes ~ 2 Comments

I’m not starting this new year off like I’ve started off most new years in the past. I don’t have a plan or any goals or even a vibe that I want to achieve. Hell, I didn’t even have my planner for the year organized and ready to go until the last minute. I’m not sure what I want to do with 2025.

I’m carrying the grief of Carrie’s unexpected death with me into the new year. It’s obviously going to take time for me to heal and adjust to this new normal of not having her around. It’s understandable that this re-calibration of my existence would throw me off.

My father has also been dealing with health challenges (and that’s all I care to say about that for now) since October. A man who never gets sick suddenly having a schedule full of doctor’s appointments is enough to throw anyone off their game. And I’m way off mine.

In fact, I’m starting 2025 without any idea where my game even is.

As much as I don’t want to wade hips deep in my grief and loss for a prolonged period of time, sifting and sorting through the physical remains of Carrie’s life is going to take time. It’s going to take months. I know because I’ve been doing it in the month since she died and I’ve realized that even if I had more time to devote to this task, I’d still only be emotionally able to do it little by little.

As much as I’m not qualified to be responsible for someone’s health -hell, I’m not even responsible for mine- I’ll be helping my dad manage his.

These are things that I will do and deal with, but I don’t want them to be the year’s vibe, you know? The vibe is the undercurrent that carries you through. It’s the energy that gets you through the day and the week and the month and the year. It’s the pizzazz, the sparkle, the shine. It’s the foundation you build the year on. I need my foundation to be a little less depressing and tired. I’m going to need something jaunty to get me through this.

I just don’t know what that vibe is. I don’t know what rhythm is going to best suit what I’m doing this year. Because I’m doing so many hard things right now and I don’t want the hard things to be the vibe. But I don’t know what the vibe is. It’s a little scary going into a new year not knowing the vibe. It feels like I’m unprepared. After everything, I cannot afford to be unprepared. Unprepared is not the vibe. At least I know that.

I think the vibe is going to have to find me this year. I don’t think I’ll be able to establish it or choose it on my own. I think I’m going to trip over it or back into it while I’m not paying attention.

Or maybe this can be my mid-life crisis year. I think I’ve earned one.

Maybe that can be the vibe.

Setting the Vibe for the Year

~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I have developed an odd New Year habit.

Even though I usually don’t leave my house for New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day, I still put a lot of thought and effort into the outfits that I wear. I want to close out the old year and begin the new one with the right vibe and I do that through my fashion choices.

I can’t remember when I started doing this. Probably around the time I decided it was my New Year’s Eve duty to drink an entire bottle of champagne and toast the New Year appropriately. I can’t remember exactly why I started doing this either. I think I decided that staying home didn’t mean that I couldn’t have fun and dress up. I decided to use it as an excuse to wear outfits I didn’t think I could get away with wearing on an average Tuesday afternoon.

At some point, it morphed into a way to set the vibe for the New Year and it’s become an important part of my celebration. The outfits I choose tend to be funky and a little sexy. They’re fun and colorful and sometimes a little extra. Not at all practical for a night in or a morning after. But that’s kind of the point. It’s a celebration. It’s supposed to be fancy. Just because I’m not out in the streets doesn’t change that. I don’t dress for other people anyway. I dress for me. And when it comes to New Year’s, those outfits set the tone of my year. At least, that’s the intention.

So, when I got Covid this past Christmas, it put my vibe-setting ritual into jeopardy.

The household had done pretty well when it came to avoiding it, but our luck ran out when my roommate brought it home the week before Christmas. She tested positive that Tuesday night and my dad tested positive on Thursday evening. Even with masking and a constant fog of Lysol and hiding in my room as much as possible, I couldn’t hold it off forever, but it did at least take a week to get me. I tested positive on Christmas morning. Ho ho ho.

We were fortunate to get a mild version, my roommate getting it a little worse than the rest of us, my dad faring the best. For me it was like a bad cold. However, I haven’t been sick since before Covid became a thing, so I was way out of practice. It knocked me on my ass for a couple of days. I had a weird sore throat that was almost like an afterthought, spent a couple of days sounding like I was doing an Ursula the Sea Witch impersonation (not a bad thing), and I generated so much mucus I could have skated across the country on my face like a slug. But with a lot of naps, cough drops, and some Puffs with lotion, I bounced back. By Saturday I was feeling well enough to trade my pajamas for lounge clothes. But I wasn’t quite well enough for my New Year’s Eve/Day splendor.

So, instead of closing out 2023 and starting 2024 in some funky threads, I opted for cute and comfy. And a little funky.

That’s a good vibe for 2024, too.

I’m Starting the New Year the Same Way I Ended the Old One–Softly

~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I think it was my cousin Alex who posted a meme in her Instagram stories about why we go on about ending the year strong when we should be ending the year softly -resting, recuperating, relaxing. I’m paraphrasing it badly, but it still spoke to my soul.

When I saw this I was in the homestretch of a brutal marathon of projects. I was doing Book ’em, Danno, Here, Watch This with Shann, and covering three shows on Eventually Supertrain with Dan. I also had Five Minutes to do for Patreon. I was finishing up the prep for my program that I’ll be giving later this month at work. I was also working on a couple of library podcast episodes so I could have the comp time to cover my traditional birthday week vacation. And then there was NaNo, the page-a-day, the Sunday story, and blogging. Full disclosure: I did this to myself and I regret none of it. I could have said “no” to most of these things, but I chose to say “yes” and I’m glad I did. It’s just that I once again overestimated myself and as a result their were consequences.

I burned myself out. Oops.

By the time I saw this random message, I was more than ready to embrace it.

I decided to end 2022 as softly as I could.

Deadlines and schedules being what they were, there was only so much I could control. I made the executive decision not to do any blog posts for the month of December. That gave me a little less stress and a little more time to do other things. I also finished as much of my audio work as I could before December. Another thing that freed up some time and lowered the stress levels.

After that, it was all about scheduling, balancing work with rest, which to be honest, is something I suck at and should be doing anyway.

For my part, I think I did well. Even with the Grinchmas shopping, crafting, shipping, and baking, I did not end the year feeling frazzled, completely bereft of energy, patience, and will to live. I ended the year somewhat softly and it made a huge difference in how I entered 2023.

I chose to enter the new year softly as well.

I tend to ease into January anyway. After all, I’m usually exhausted and dragging myself into a new calendar. This year I’m purposely going in softly. I am continuing my practice of being mindful about my schedule. I’m taking it easy, but being productive. What are my deadlines? What is my schedule? What can I control? Where can I be soft?

After doing so much audio last year, I plan to scale back this year. I still have projects with deadlines that will get done, but it’s a matter of not letting my schedule become so overwhelmed with it. I need to pace myself better and this means saying “no” or “not right now” sometimes, even if it’s something I really want to do. I need to let myself be booked sometimes.

It was in the latter portion of 2022 that I realized how much I miss writing. After years of creativity and productivity issues, I hit a sweet spot last year that I haven’t experienced in a long time and my schedule was so crowded that I felt like I had no time to indulge in it.

This month, my birthday vacation is also going to be a writing vacation. No library work and no audio projects. Just me and writing words. No deadlines or productivity goals. Just me writing.

And if it goes the way I think it will go, that is to say well, then I play to making writing vacations a thing for the year. Find those weeks were I can just write without expectation or interruption.

I’m hoping that ending the old year and beginning the new year softly will teach me something about how I approach my scheduling and my projects and maybe help me figure out a better work/rest balance.

Let this not be one of the times I insist on learning the hard way.

Resolutions for 2013

~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

It’s time to make my resolutions for 2013. Some I will ignore. Some I will keep. Some I will forget until I look at the list at the end of the year and am surprised that I made and kept them.

So here are five resolutions for 2013:

English: New Year's Resolutions postcard

1. Don’t get dead.

2. Have a good time.

(My two go-to’s that I have usually have no trouble keeping.)

3. Choreograph an entire belly dance routine to a song. I tend to start doing it and then get bored and quit. I really need to get some follow-through here.

4. Sleep more. I feel that only good can come from keeping this resolution.

5. Sing louder while making dinner. I prefer the kitchen to myself while I cook. Maybe louder renditions of “I Touch Myself” will persuade the people in my house to vacate the room while I cook.

It’s just a thought.

New Year Hopes

~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I’m one of those people that is pretty superstitious about transitioning from one year to the next because my aim is always to go into the new year with the idea and aim to make it better than the last. (I’m sure that nobody wants to make their new year worse than their last, but I’m sure some people wouldn’t mind holding pat; either way, neither here nor there in terms of this post.) I always go into each new year with specific hopes and goals. I wouldn’t call them resolutions. Resolutions are made to be broken. Hopes are meant to be had and goals are meant to be achieved.

My hopes and goals are one in the same. I have them and I’m going to work to achieve them. Here are some of the goals and hopes I have for 2012.

-I want to be happy. I’m a firm believer that happiness is something you create and I’d like to create a lot of it this year.

-I’m going to continue the practice of positive thinking. This one is hard for me. I’m a natural pessimist. I expect the worst, anticipate it for every little thing I do. I’m like Eeyore in that respect. Whatever I do, I attach a certain cloud of gloom to it. I’ve been working on correcting that outlook and I plan to continue that effort.

-I want to succeed in my ventures. This is going to take hard work, I know. Harder work than I’ve been putting into it, I’m sure (I’ll never feel like I work hard enough). But, it’s also going to take the positive thinking. Continuing my work with an anticipation of success instead of anticipation of failure is a must. I need to put myself out there more and not be afraid to sell  myself and my work.

-I want to have fun. Sometimes I’m so dedicate to work and making money to pay bills (even when I have some sort of regular paying day job), that I forget to stop and relax and have a good time. I’ve been known to put fun on my To Do list. Might as well put it on my goals list just to be sure it gets done.

-I want to purge the excess from my life. I am a packrat by nature, not hoarder levels, but I’ve still managed to accumulate more than I need or want. I need to continue to get rid of it. I’m already selling some things on eBay, but a full-scale rummage sale is going to have to  happen this year. I’ve been avoiding it because of all of the work that goes into one, but this year I need to put my laziness aside and get it done. The dead weight needs to go.

-I’m going to make some changes. Big and small, things need to be changed. Sameness can breed stagnation and I’m afraid I’ve got ponds of it in my life. Change isn’t easy, particularly for someone like me. I like to be safe and secure, but that yearning has actually had the opposite effect. I don’t feel that way. I feel more like I’m in a prison. The only key to my freedom is change. Just another thing I can’t put off doing for another year.

The nice thing about having hopes and goals is that success lies in trying. Even if I fail, there’s a certain amount of success that I made the serious attempt to do these things. That’s more than I can say for not trying at all.

2012 Resolutions

~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

I’m happy to say that I kept my resolutions from last year for the most part (that not losing too much weight resolution counts since I may have gained a little weight). It’s now time to turn my attention to 2012.

Here are my five resolutions for the new year.

1. Not get dead. My guaranteed-to-keep resolution.

2. Dance. I feel 2011 was lacking in dancing. I’d like to do more of that.

3. Take pictures. I forget to capture life’s moments. I need to make a goal of that this year.

4. Give. I’d like to do something for one of my favorite charities, even if it’s just spreading the word.

5. Have a good time. This is my other guaranteed resolution. I will always find a way to have a good time.

New Year’s Resolutions

~ Kiki Writes ~ Leave a comment

It’s New Year’s Eve and today is the day that people all over make resolutions that they’ll probably keep until about Valentine’s Day if they’re really dedicated. I like to make resolutions, too, but I don’t like failure, so I like to make resolutions that are easy to keep.

Here are my five easy-to-keep resolutions for 2011:

1. Don’t get dead. This is my resolution every year and so far, I’ve done a fantastic job of keeping it.

2. Don’t lose too much weight. A little is fine, but I don’t want to go total transformation crazy.

3. Eat Oreos on occasion.

4. Don’t start smoking again.

5. Have a good time.

I’m pretty confident that I can keep those resolutions.

Easy or hard, fun or serious, what are your resolutions for the new year?