I’m sure I’ve written about this before, but I’m going to write about it again because I’ve been doing really well at it and I feel the urge to be all “Go Team Me!”
I am one of those people who are mundanely self-destructive. I destroy myself in little ways, usually through neglect of some kind. This usually presents as depriving myself of sleep, eating mindlessly or not eating at all, and overworking myself. The latter I am particularly bad about. I will schedule myself to the point of stress and then berate myself for not being able to handle the schedule/stress because other people can do it/I used to be able to do it.
A few years ago, I made the purposeful decision to give myself Sundays off. Unless absolutely necessary, I don’t do chores, I don’t run errands, I don’t leave the house, I don’t work on any writing or podcasting projects, I don’t exercise, nada. All I have to do is my Duolingo lessons (because I have like a four year streak going and my ego is way too big to lose it), a beauty routine, and exist. That’s it. Anything else is a choice. There are no have-to’s unless absolutely unavoidable (think NaNo when I write every day).
I give myself this day to be a potato. To place no expectations of any sort of productivity on myself. To be a human being, not a human doing.
This is a mindful choice that I have to make every Sunday. Some Sundays I feel like a lazy piece of shit and I think I should be doing something and it takes effort for me not to give in to that thinking. Because that’s definitely a sign that I need to take care of myself and rest. Other Sundays I actually feel really good and I choose to do a little bit of yoga or a little bit of writing or a small To Do List project. And I let myself do those things because in that case it’s a want-to, not a have-to.
So, yes, there are some Sundays when all I do is eat and binge-watch shows or movies and play online games and be a complete potato. Reading is too mentally taxing on those days. And there are some Sundays when I still lounge, but I read and journal and do little crafty things. And there are some Sundays when I switch out my closet and purge my clothes and reorganize my shit and make new To Do Lists. But everything I do on a Sunday is a want-to, not a have-to.
I have enough have-to’s the other six days.
Sundays are for self-care and self-care is a must for me.