Part of the problem is I have this kind of problem this time of year, with all of the holiday stuff going on and making Grinchmas and preparing for the middle niece’s birthday next week (I still haven’t gotten her present yet, oops, need to work on that) and then the day jobs and chores, I tend to feel a little tapped out in the energy department. I don’t really enjoy a lot of the writing work I end up doing in December because I feel like it’s just more work. While I normally enjoy doing revisions (even the crappy, hard ones I feel a certain thrill that comes with spinning straw into gold), it’s a struggle for me to like them in December.
I think the other part of the problem is that I don’t feel like I’m doing any good with these revisions so far. I know I need to add a section, possibly a chapter, and I have yet to see the perfect spot to put it. I feel like all I’ve been doing for the past couple of weeks is dialogue tweaking. I did a major overhaul of the first two chapters and after that, everything has just been speeding right along with minor little changes here and there and I feel like I’m slacking.
This in turn makes me feel like I don’t wanna.
The problem with me is that I’m acting like this is the big and final revision of this manuscript when it’s actually just the first. Yes, that added section needs to go in now. And that last third of the book will probably be seriously worked over (at least that’s what my notes say…actually my notes say “the last third of the book needs work, good luck with that”). There will be another revision or two (probably three) after this. Hell, I’m not even sure whether or not I’m going to change the location yet or not (not a huge change, just going from real city to fictional-city-that-might-resemble-a-real-one). So, yes, this isn’t the end all be all of this book no matter what oogy feelings my brain is giving me right now.
But my brain doesn’t listen to reason. It’s worse than my heart in some respects. And my brain says I’m not working hard enough, apparently missing the point that I’m not supposed to be working very hard this month. It’s a real drag. I’m doing my best to press on, knowing that I am actually doing work, laying the groundwork for the next revision, even if it doesn’t feel like. This is all just a fleeting bit of stupid and I will get through it.
Right now, though, I just don’t feeeeel like it.