Let’s Blow Snow

Big green evergreen bush with a small red cardinal sitting in it. It's snowing hard and there's a blue car in the background.No, this isn’t about cocaine. I’m not that fun. But I do want my last post of the year to be upbeat.

So, I live in the Midwest. It snows here. Last winter when it snowed, it was inconvenient because our snowblower was out of commission. We had two decent sized snows back-to-back, within days of each other, and I didn’t have time between snows to shovel out our driveway. Having four-wheel drive makes that less of an issue, but after that second snow, it really needed to be done. Because our garage is set behind our house, our driveway is pretty long. It took me over an hour to make it from the garage to the sidewalk and by that point, I was sore and exhausted. I ended up finishing the drive the next day, which took about half an hour.

My body was pissed.

I’d hurt my shoulder the month before, so it was really unhappy with me. And my back was livid that I was doing manual labor. I was not cut out for this. I swore that I was going to improve my physical condition so next time, I’d be more prepared and less sore.

I didn’t do that.

But, my dad did have the foresight to attempt to fix the snowblower before winter decided to arrive early this year. The carburetor has an issue and Dad thought he’d fixed it enough that it would work for the snow we got right after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, the sort-of-fixed snowblower was no match for that heavy, wet snow. I managed two get two passes of the driveway done, but after the snowblower died for the third time, I called it quits.

The snowblower and I were not going to be friends.

I got out the shovel and started working my way down the driveway. Fortunately, the neighbor across the street, Susan, and her son Adam, were also snowblowing and shoveling and once they were finished on their side of the street, they came over and helped me and our other neighbor, as she’d just had knee surgery. I am eternally grateful for their help and I owe them a bundle of Christmas treats.

I didn’t bother shoveling after the second snow we got a few days later. I let the four-wheel drive do its thing.

Instead of trying again to fix the snowblower’s carburetor, Dad just bought a new one for twenty bucks. He put on the new carburetor and he’ll eventually fix the old one so we’ll have a back-up. That’s how we roll.

So when the next significant snow came clipping on through, we were prepared. In theory. I was reluctant to bother with the snowblower after my first disastrous attempt to bond because I thought it might hold a grudge. However, there was only a few inches of snow and it was light and powdery, so after doing a little shoveling, I decided to give it another try.

My friends, the snowblower and I had a good time.

After a few test runs near the garage, I cranked up the speed, and we went flying, getting the driveway to the sidewalk done in no time. The bottom part of the driveway is a trickier beast. It’s an incline. The city plows pile the snow up at the end of the driveway and there was still a mound of it from the last snow that I never bothered with. But I just turned down the speed and me and that snowblower got it done. Whole thing took me about 35-40 minutes and the snowblower had the good grace not to run out of gas until I was on my way back to the garage because I was finished.

We’re besties now.

This is important because my dad used to be the one to clear the sidewalks and driveways on our side of the block. He’s not able to do that anymore.

Maybe now I can pick up where he left off.

Favorite Cover Songs

I’ve probably already done a post like this in the past, but like the 20 Tracks post I did, this one was also inspired by a thread on social media. It came across my Blue Sky timeline asking for your favorite cover song. Some people were putting a lot of stipulations on determining their choices, but not me. I looked at the prompt and said, “I can’t pick just one” and it became a blog post.

Because I have so many that I want to mention, I’m grouping them into categories of sorts. I’m also lazy and not linking them to anything. You’re grown. You know how to internet. Work that search engine, baby.

One of the qualifiers someone mentioned in their favorite cover song determination was that it should be more successful than the original. Allow me to introduce you to The Monkees. “(I’m Not You) Steppin’ Stone” was first done by Paul Revere and the Raiders, but became a huge hit for The Monkees (twenty years later, The Monkees covered another song by Paul Revere and the Raiders, “Kicks”, for their twentieth anniversary album). Another one of their hits, “Mary, Mary”, was written by Michael Nesmith and was recorded by the Paul Butterfield Blues Band before The Monkees became a thing. Run DMC put their own twist on the song years later.

Speaking of The Monkees, Run DMC isn’t the only one who’s covered their songs. Everyone knows Smashmouth’s version of “I’m a Believer” thanks to the movie Shrek, but my preferred version is by the indie band Echo Orbiter. Another indie band, Bikeride, did my favorite cover of another Monkees song, “(Look Out) Here Comes Tomorrow”. In case you’re curious, they’re both on a compilation album called Through the Looking Glass: Indie Pop Plays the Monkees.

Let’s keep talking about The Monkees for just a minute, specifically, Micky Dolenz. He’s done quite a few covers during his solo career (including an album entirely of Nez’s songs), but two of my favorites that he’s done are “Crying in the Rain”, with his sister Coco Dolenz, and “Good Morning, Good Morning”, which was originally done by The Beatles (a snippet of their version was used with permission in the final episode of The Monkees). I kind of like Micky’s version better than the original. Don’t tell Paul or Ringo.

Let’s move on to The Beatles, shall we? Two of my other favorite covers of their classic songs: Aimee Mann’s version of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and Oingo Boingo’s version of “I Am the Walrus”. Goo goo g’ joob.

Another one of my favorite Beatles covers is Eddie Vedder’s version of “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”, but then Eddie Vedder might be one of my favorite cover artists. Back in the day, I bought a Pearl Jam CD single (oh wow, remember those?) featuring covers of “Last Kiss” and “Soldier of Love”. I bought it for the “A” side, but I ended up loving the “B” side more.

One cover song cliche is slowing down a song. The technique is usually found in movie trailers. However, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Three of my favorite slow downs are “Toxic” by The Chapin Sisters, “Light My Fire” by Julie London, and “Do You Wanna Dance” by The Mamas and the Papas.

My lack of distaste for slow downs is probably because my favorite kind of cover song is the one that switches genres.

My all-time favorite cover song is “Super Freak” by Bruce Hornsby, Ricky Skaggs, and John Anderson, who took the Rick James classic and gave it a country/bluegrass twist. It shouldn’t work, but it does. The Gourds did a similar makeover with Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice”, which I also love.

Instead of slowing down, how about going harder? I have a sincere fondness for the hard rock/metal versions of “Barbie Girl” by MxPx and “La Bamba” by either Rancid or Overbass. I’m not sure which one as I acquired this particular tune during the questionable downloading days when not everything was accurately labeled and even the internet isn’t sure who did it. Also, Alien Ant Farm’s cover of “Smooth Criminal” deserves a mention. They took an already bad ass song and made it more bad ass.

If I need to go punk, I’ll go for Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, especially “Science Fiction/Double Feature” and “Different Drum” (another Nez penned song, this one made famous by Linda Ronstadt and Stone Poneys).

And if I really want to go wild, then I’m all about the pop jazz versions of “Wonderwall” by The Mike Flower Pops and “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Paul Anka. Yes, you read that right. That Paul Anka. And, yes, it shouldn’t work, but it does.

Think I’m wrong? Keep it to yourself. Think I’m missing some good covers? Let me know.

Oh Shit…I Read Romance Now

I’m known to read more than one book at a time due to the fact that I work at a library and keep seeing books I want to read and then I put them on hold and then they all come in at once and I have no choice.

During one of these multi-book sprees, my roommate looked at the three books I was reading and went, “Oh my God! Everything you’re reading is chick-lit! You’re reading more romance than I am! Who are you???”

In my defense, the two books I’d finished right before that were death-related: one was on crime scene cleaning and the other was about people who made death their profession (embalmers; funeral directors; grave diggers, etc.). And of the three “chick-lit” books I was reading at the time, one had serial killers, one had witches, and one had queers.

However, my roommate was not wrong to point out the obvious.

I’ve become a reader of romance.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before (and I’m going to do it again because this is my blog and you can’t stop me), but romance has long been a genre that has eluded me. While my friends in high school were swapping bodice rippers, I was reading Stephen King and Dean Koontz. Romance did not appeal to me and it seemed like every attempt I made to find something I liked ended in disappointment. Straight (some pun intended) romance and romantic suspense or thrillers are pretty much impossible for me to read. Try as I might, I just don’t like them.

And then I discovered the joy that was queer romance. Clearly this had been my hang-up all along. Too many hets. My director actually made sure to order all of the books in the Written in the Stars series because she knew I liked them. I’ve since read just about every single queer romance my boss has gotten for our collection, plus several that she didn’t.

Once I’d established that I dug queer romance, I decided to give straight romance another shot, but only because it featured a fat woman protagonist. Turns out, I loved that one, too. So, I found out that I could read het romance so long as there was a fatty. Groovy.

Inevitably, I found myself pushing those boundaries once again.

I chose a romance that didn’t explicitly advertise any queerness or fatness (turns out the protagonist describes herself as having big hips), but it did promise serial killers. I did the same thing with another book, but there was witches. And as of this writing, I have another het romance on my hold list that includes a ghost.

So, it seems that I can enjoy a het, not explicitly fat romance and be interested in reading them so long as there’s some major quirkiness and/or potential horror element involved. It stands to reason considering two of my favorite “romance” films are not actually straight-forward romances.

I cannot tell you the joy this has brought me and I think will continue to bring me. It makes me very happy to know that I have these cozy books to cuddle up with when I’m in the mood for something lighter. It has opened up a whole new happy part of my brain and I am so thankful for that.

Who am I?

A romance reader. And I will not be shamed about that. Especially given how many books I’ve read on how to properly dispose of a corpse.

I may have found my romance joy, but death, murder, and horror was here first.

Nothing Happens in a Small Town–Murder Edition

When my library director first pitched the idea of doing a library podcast, one thing she definitely wanted to include was local history and she handed me the folder on a dynamite story to kick the off the podcast: the only known public hanging in my county, which happened in 1882.

The Patsy Devine Case remains one of the more popular episodes because everybody loves some true crime and a good, ol’ fashioned hanging. The next local history episode I did was The Courthouse Murder. This 1855 case had everything: a bitter rivalry, an amputation, chloroform, one of the first uses of the insanity defense, and an all-star prosecution team that included future president Abraham Lincoln. He, along with his presidential opponent Stephen A. Douglas, also defended the first man accused of murder in my town way back in 1840.

As it turns out, for a period of time, my little town was quite the murder capital.

I’m currently working on not one, but two murders of police chiefs that occurred within three years of each other. It was something I stumbled upon while researching our most corrupt mayor (which was a fun one) as he was a witness to the second chief’s murder. It was while reading that article that I found out that the second murdered chief was present at the first murdered chief’s killing and was appointed chief as a result. It was like a murderception and I eagerly descended down that rabbit hole.

Which led to an article featuring a list of murders that occurred over a 60 year period between 1855 and 1915.

Oh yeah. My tiny town was Wild Westing it back in the day.

The list includes:

-A shooting in 1864 that I haven’t found details of yet, but I know the guy posted bond at the pre-trial which was held in a different town for reasons.

-A double homicide in 1896 in which the 24 year old husband shot his wife (who’d filed for divorce) and mother-in-law in the yard with a shotgun before running down the railroad track and attempting to commit suicide by throwing himself in front of a train. Unfortunately for him, the cow catcher did its job and yeeted him off the tracks very much alive and under arrest.

-A man who was shot and killed in a Christmas Day poker room squabble in a saloon in a neighboring town in 1899. The victim’s name is the same as that of a man who stabbed the postmaster to death in my town’s post office during the Civil War, but I’ve yet to find any connections between them.

-Another bar fight in 1901 saw a 40 year old man kill another man by hitting him over the head with a beer bottle. The man pled guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced by the same judge who later presided over the murder trial of the second police chief’s killer.

-Because men have always been delicate creatures unable to cope with rejection, a man shot and killed a woman he mistook for the woman who’d turned down his marriage proposal in 1906.

-In August of that same year, a dispute between a 60 year old man and a 53 year old man over chickens, access to a well, and insulting one man’s wife ended when the husband of the insulted wife shot the offending man. The killer was found not guilty by reason of self-defense as the victim was allegedly beating him with a bucket at the time of the shooting.

-To continue with the theme of men old enough to know better getting uptight about farm animals, a 60 year old man shot and killed a 68 year old man in July of 1909 because the horse the victim had been pasturing in a vacant lot next to killer’s house had been eating the man’s sunflowers. The argument that ensued was escalated when the sunflower owner’s wife got involved and the victim called her “a goddamn liar”. The man was later arrested by the first police chief who would be murdered almost exactly a year later.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t wall-to-wall homicides back in the day, but it’s still pretty significant for a small town that was even smaller then than it is now. Growing up here where the default is that nothing happens, it’s wild to think that back in the day folks were shooting each other over horses eating sunflowers and chickens getting into flowerbeds and insulted wives. That’s something that happens somewhere else, even in the long, long ago.

But it all happened right here.

In fact, those murdered police chiefs both died within blocks of where I live right now.

Hey, just because nothing happens in a small town now doesn’t it mean it wasn’t happening then.

2020 Half-Assed Resolutions

My 2019 resolutions were mostly done successfully. As you can see, still not dead, and 2019 was a better time than 2018, so we’re calling that a win. Book ’em, Danno is happening. I cleaned out my craft drawer, but I have no memory of doing it. It was either me or clutter elves, but either way, it got done. As for my art…I hung up one piece. Okay, I didn’t do something with all of the pieces I created in 2018, but I did do something with one of them and since these are half-assed resolutions, that totally counts.

2020 is a big year for half-assed resolutions. New decade and I’ll be 40. Gotta make these good.

1. Don’t get dead.

2. Have a good time.

3. Clean out my sewing drawer. I have to come to accept that I’m not sewing very much right now and that I don’t need all of the fabric and scraps that I’ve accumulated. Other people could put that stuff to better use and in the now, not in the metaphorical future.

4. Read consistently. I do read, but I’m a sporadic reader. Meaning, I can go all week without reading and then read half a book on a Sunday. As nice as spending a Sunday that way is, I’d like to read more throughout the week as well. I’m going to aim for at least 5 days a week. And since this is half-assed, the bar of how much to read on those nights is set on the floor.

5. Self-care. I am crap at self-care. I tend to wait until I’m about to fall off the ledge before I take the step back and go, “Hey, self. We should probably take a breather.” I’d like to make it more of a regular thing. Even if I could just take one day a month to assess and ask myself the necessary questions that gauge my well-being that would be great. I can work on addressing the answers for my 2021 half-assed resolutions.

Okay. Let’s get this new decade started.

Sew Many Bits and Pieces

sugergirl skirtLast month I went through my sewing drawer and bin, trying to figure out what I could get rid of because I have a plethora of fabrics and remnants and clothes that I thought I’d be sewing with and so far haven’t yet. I really can’t keep hanging on to these things if I’m not going to do anything with them. And it’s been far too long since I’ve actually sat down and stitched on a project.

So, while going through things, I found a couple of panels that I could try to sell on eBay and maybe later I could try selling some of the remnants I probably won’t use, but I also came up with two projects I could work on that would use up several bits and pieces and shirts. My dumbass thought I could get both of these things done in a day. In reality, it took me about two and a half weeks, give or take me not paying much attention to days of the week.

supergirl skirt 2I made the skirt from a pair of jeans that lost their life to the curse of friction, an old t-shirt, and the leg of a pair of pajama pants. Probably the easiest thing about this pieces was cutting the legs off of the jeans and ripping the seams out of the shirt and the pants. The actual piecing and sewing (remember, I sew by hand) turned out to be much trickier than I anticipated. In fact, I ended up having to do one of the cheetah print panels twice because I screwed it up the first time and had a weird bulge in it.

The skirt turned out pretty well, I think. It’s light enough to wear in the summer, but long enough to wear in the fall and spring. Versatile. Also pretty damn unique.

handkerchief tankThe other piece I ended up doing is a handkerchief style tank. I sewed together to different ribbed tanks to get the color block effect. I then split the lower tank up the side and added in the plaid panels. Turns out that was the hardest part, trying to get the angles just right. That and all of the sewing because of the angles and the hems I needed to create.

And in the end, it doesn’t work for me. I don’t like the way it looks on me. However, I do think it will look quite fetching on my middle niece who likes this sort of style. She’s shorter and smaller than me (obviously), so I think it will hang better on her than on me. In the end, it won’t go to waste.

So, I’ve made some progress in cleaning out my sewing stuff and got some cute things in the process.

I have to remember that’s how it works when I actually sew.

Do You Like Podcasts?

Music noteI am by no means an expert in the field of podcasts. Actually, as of right now, I only listen to three.

However, I know what I like and I like these.

I also like to pimp out the things produced by people I’m friendly with.

So this post is like all the birds and a stone.

Made for TV Mayhem– I have some cred here in saying that I actually started listening to this one from the beginning (even though I got busy and missed a couple of episodes and had to play catch up). I also have bonus cred because Amanda and I used to live-tweet Made for Me-TV movies on Friday nights and we were hilarious. I’m sorry you missed it. Back to the podcast. As the name implies, Amanda, Dan, and Nate talk about TV movies. These lovely people are funny, they’re knowledgeable, they gleefully point out how much make-up sex was in A Very Brady Christmas, and their lives have all been affected in some way by Dark Night of the Scarecrow. If you want to either re-live the glory days of TV movies (like those of us of a certain age remember and pine for) or learn about the classic TV flicks from people who can list every TV movie Wes Craven directed and truly appreciate Bad Ronald (while sometimes getting off-topic and talking about Dan’s mullet glory days), this is the podcast you need in your life.

The Strange and Deadly Show– Credit where it’s due: I discovered this podcast because Amanda raved about it and now I owe her some sort of gift of gratitude because I love this podcast. Chris and Tom discuss movies on the Section 3 list, a specific list of the Video Nasties that were no-no’s in England. Many of the movies on this list were probably considered no-no’s not because of the violence, but because they’re straight garbage and it’s in the reviews of those particular flicks that these two shine, though you can tell that they have a real love for film in a pure and unpretentious way. Whether they love it or hate it or are bored to tears by it (seriously, they really do take one for the team watching some of these films), they don’t hold back, each of them bringing their own distinct personalities to the table. I dare you to listen to one episode and not have an urge to listen to them all.

Spotlight: Social Marketing Gone Bad– I have some cred here, too, as Helene and I have been Twitter-friendly for quite a while. I don’t want to say how long, but I’ve been on Twitter since 2007 and she’s one of my oldest mutual follows. Anyway, Jay and Helene’s podcast focuses on social marketing and all of the ways that it can be bad (as the name of the show implies), which sounds boring if you’re not at all into social marketing, but I assure you it is not. Jay and Helene have a gift for sharing their wisdom in a witty and relatable way so even people like me (who doesn’t know shit from Shinola when it comes to social marketing) can benefit. Plus, they’re on top of all the latest social media news. If you want some social media knowledge delivered with some humor and swear words, you want this podcast.

All of the podcasts are on iTunes. If you listen and you like, be sure to leave feedback! Everybody likes to know they’re awesome and these folks have all passed that bar, so don’t be shy about letting them know.

2016 Half-Assed Resolutions

resolutionsI did a great job getting my 2015 half-assed resolutions accomplished. I made Peace. I incorporated a dance party into my evening de-stress routine, so I’ve been having a lot more of them. And I got rid of stuff. Not as much stuff as I wanted to, but I still got rid of many things.

Oh, I also had a good time and didn’t get dead, as usual.

So, now it’s time for me to make my half-assed resolutions for 2016.

 

  1. Don’t get dead.
  2. Have a good time.
  3. Watch more Netflix. I put stuff on my list that I mean to watch and then I never get around to watching it and I really need to be better about that. I have to stop being so behind on my documentaries and I have to be more willing to watch something new and risk not liking it. I can turn it off. That’s allowed.
  4. Clean out my sewing drawer. It’s…it’s…it’s in dire need of cleaning out. That’s all I can say.
  5. Master mermaid pose. This is a yoga pose that I’ve been slowly, very slowly, working on and I think that this is the year I’ll be able to arrange my fat in such away that I don’t tear anything while I do it.

Go team 2016!

peace

Getting the Grinchmas Spirit

Grinchmas 2015

I’ve had a really hard time getting into the Grinchmas spirit this year. I haven’t been particularly inspired when it came to making Grinchmas gifts and I haven’t been very willing to listen to Christmas music. I was even late getting my Grinchmas tree up.

But!

The Grinchmas tree is up. The gifts are made and wrapped and ready to be given. I’ve watched The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and The Nightmare Before Christmas. I’ve heard a few of my favorite Christmas Carols.

I’m ready for my heart to grow three sizes.

Rob Whoville!

2015 Holiday Gift Suggestions

Milwaukee Christmas treeIt’s Black Friday, when folks trample each other to buy price-reduced manufactured goods so they can give them to family and friends to prove just how much they love and appreciate them. As much fun as that is (and as someone who has worked retail off and on for years and got to watch two ladies nearly come to blows over a scooter, I know my good times), not everyone is hip to getting their friends and family the same gift everyone else is giving to their favorite humans.

Well, that’s why I am here. To point you in the direction of some really nifty finds that you won’t find in all of those fliers and on the shelves of your local big box store.

Obviously, you should totally buy all of my books and give them to all of your friends. But if you don’t want people to get suspicious that you’re not putting any thought into your gifts (but you really would be; I’d vouch for you), you should also check out these authors: Shanna Hammaker, Brandon Ford, Jeremy C. Shipp, Shonell Bacon, and Johi Jenkins. Horror, memoir, mystery, fantasy, paranormal romance, young adult…you’re bound to find something for someone or many somethings for many someones.

If you know an aspiring writer (or anyone that uses a writing instrument, really), perhaps check out Roweville Retro and get them a one-of-kind pen, pencil, or stylus. You can even get a custom made creation. Get them that present that other people will be trying to steal from them for years to come.

Speaking of writing, how about encouraging the people you really do like to keep in touch with some spiffy postcards? This is what happens when I keep taking and drawing pictures with no set purpose in mind. I have to find something to do with them and what better use than to remind people that dropping a picture card in the mail and sending it to a friend is still a fun surprise.

But, if you’re looking for better art (and you probably should be), then check out Hannah McFaddon Art. Hannah McFaddon is an amazing artist and now she’s got a whole line of prints available, too. Tea-Rex! Are you kidding me? Absolutely adorable! And guaranteed to be something that a loved one is going to adore and hang proudly on their wall.

So go! Shop! Buy things that people didn’t know they needed and will love to get!

 

**Yes, I am once again promoting my friends and acquaintances (and myself) for the holidays because I like them, I like what they’re doing, and I think they deserve some spotlight. Go team!