Nothing Happens in a Small Town–Murder Edition

When my library director first pitched the idea of doing a library podcast, one thing she definitely wanted to include was local history and she handed me the folder on a dynamite story to kick the off the podcast: the only known public hanging in my county, which happened in 1882.

The Patsy Devine Case remains one of the more popular episodes because everybody loves some true crime and a good, ol’ fashioned hanging. The next local history episode I did was The Courthouse Murder. This 1855 case had everything: a bitter rivalry, an amputation, chloroform, one of the first uses of the insanity defense, and an all-star prosecution team that included future president Abraham Lincoln. He, along with his presidential opponent Stephen A. Douglas, also defended the first man accused of murder in my town way back in 1840.

As it turns out, for a period of time, my little town was quite the murder capital.

I’m currently working on not one, but two murders of police chiefs that occurred within three years of each other. It was something I stumbled upon while researching our most corrupt mayor (which was a fun one) as he was a witness to the second chief’s murder. It was while reading that article that I found out that the second murdered chief was present at the first murdered chief’s killing and was appointed chief as a result. It was like a murderception and I eagerly descended down that rabbit hole.

Which led to an article featuring a list of murders that occurred over a 60 year period between 1855 and 1915.

Oh yeah. My tiny town was Wild Westing it back in the day.

The list includes:

-A shooting in 1864 that I haven’t found details of yet, but I know the guy posted bond at the pre-trial which was held in a different town for reasons.

-A double homicide in 1896 in which the 24 year old husband shot his wife (who’d filed for divorce) and mother-in-law in the yard with a shotgun before running down the railroad track and attempting to commit suicide by throwing himself in front of a train. Unfortunately for him, the cow catcher did its job and yeeted him off the tracks very much alive and under arrest.

-A man who was shot and killed in a Christmas Day poker room squabble in a saloon in a neighboring town in 1899. The victim’s name is the same as that of a man who stabbed the postmaster to death in my town’s post office during the Civil War, but I’ve yet to find any connections between them.

-Another bar fight in 1901 saw a 40 year old man kill another man by hitting him over the head with a beer bottle. The man pled guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced by the same judge who later presided over the murder trial of the second police chief’s killer.

-Because men have always been delicate creatures unable to cope with rejection, a man shot and killed a woman he mistook for the woman who’d turned down his marriage proposal in 1906.

-In August of that same year, a dispute between a 60 year old man and a 53 year old man over chickens, access to a well, and insulting one man’s wife ended when the husband of the insulted wife shot the offending man. The killer was found not guilty by reason of self-defense as the victim was allegedly beating him with a bucket at the time of the shooting.

-To continue with the theme of men old enough to know better getting uptight about farm animals, a 60 year old man shot and killed a 68 year old man in July of 1909 because the horse the victim had been pasturing in a vacant lot next to killer’s house had been eating the man’s sunflowers. The argument that ensued was escalated when the sunflower owner’s wife got involved and the victim called her “a goddamn liar”. The man was later arrested by the first police chief who would be murdered almost exactly a year later.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t wall-to-wall homicides back in the day, but it’s still pretty significant for a small town that was even smaller then than it is now. Growing up here where the default is that nothing happens, it’s wild to think that back in the day folks were shooting each other over horses eating sunflowers and chickens getting into flowerbeds and insulted wives. That’s something that happens somewhere else, even in the long, long ago.

But it all happened right here.

In fact, those murdered police chiefs both died within blocks of where I live right now.

Hey, just because nothing happens in a small town now doesn’t it mean it wasn’t happening then.

“What’s Your Dream Job?”

Can you still have a dream job when you’re over 40? I don’t know. But I’m going to play at answering this question anyway.

In my younger days I had that all too common dream of becoming an actor or singer, but as it turns out, that requires talent and looks, of which I have neither.

When I was in junior high I had two dream jobs. I either wanted to be a meteorologist studying tornadoes or a shark biologist. What can I say? I prefer my science when it wants to kill me. Should be obvious that neither of those plans worked out, though I’m still fascinated by both fields.

By high school, I’d changed my mind yet again. I knew for sure that I wanted to be a writer. And in the three attempts at community college, I changed my mind the same number of times. Just another manifestation of my commitment issues.

I suppose you could say that my dream job is elusive. Or at least achieving it is.

Now that I’m middle-aged, I kinda haven’t given up on that whole dream job thing. I still want to find something that thrills me and I get paid well to do it. But instead of knowing what exactly that job is, I know more about what I don’t want it to be like.

It’s not customer service. Definitely not. It’s not working with coworkers that drain me, that are unreliable, that have agendas. Ideally, it’s something that limits my time in a bra and/or real pants. I mean, it is a dream job. I should ask for what a really want.

I want my dream job to be writing. I’ve dedicated years to it without much success, but it’s still very much my heart’s desire in many ways. But the difficulty I’ve had doing it in the last few years has led me to doubt it as my life’s calling. And that’s led me to an existential crisis of sorts because if it’s not my dream job, then what is? I know I’m still a writer, even if it’s not working out the way I planned and things are hard right now. Writing is a part of me whether it’s writing fiction like I want to do or blogging or even journaling. But if it’s not my dream job like I’ve wanted it to be, then what is?

Lately, I’ve really found some joy in podcasting. And not just Book’ em, Danno, either. I really enjoy doing episodes of the library podcast, particularly the history episodes. I like doing the research and writing the script along with the recording and editing. There is a lot of writing involved, even if it’s not my true love of fiction writing.

All of this thinking has led me to one solid conclusion about my dream job. I might not know what it is for sure, but I know what it feels like.

It feels like that sweet spot I hit when I get lost in what I’m writing, when I’m so in the groove that I lose myself in the words. It feels like that rush when the rabbit hole I head down during my research leads me to something new and brings that podcast script together perfectly. It feels like that buzz I get when I’m recording and the observations and jokes are flowing naturally. That’s what it feels like. It feels like I’m surfacing after being underwater for a while, coming out of a dream state and back into reality when I’m done.

That’s what my dream job is.

Also it pays super well.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 26

It’s a short episode as I don’t have much to say about the Season 2 finale “Kiss the Queen Goodbye”, though I should say that this episode is full to the brim with fabulous fashion. It makes the Governor’s yawn-inducing speech worth it. I also do a little Season 2 wrap-up. I know you’re aching to find out how many times Steve said, “Book ’em, Danno.”

Listen in on Soundcloud, iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher.

Wait, what? Two more places to listen? Yes. Two more places to listen.

As I did with Season 1, I’m once again going to take a hiatus before starting Season 3. Look for the next new episode in September over on aka Kikiwrites, which will go live on August 1st!

As always, my eternal gratitude to everyone who listens. This little podcast is fun for me and I hope I’m making it fun for you as well, and I look forward to the fun will have together next season.

Until then….FASHION!

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 25

It’s time for a two-parter!

In part one of “Three Dead Cows at Makapu’u”, Five-O is looking for a brilliant scientist who seems to have recreated his deadly bacteria. In part two, they’re looking for the test tube containing said bacteria.

Mild trigger warning: At the beginning of part one they do indeed show one of the three dead cows. So, if you’re going to watch the episode and you’re sensitive to that sort of thing, be warned. Also, I do briefly discuss the dead cow at the beginning of my commentary on the episode, in case you want to skip that as well. No hard feelings.

Listen on Soundcloud and iTunes.

Here’s the lovely Loretta Swit and the less-than-lovely test tube of death. Seriously. It looks like oatmeal spit.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 24

Episode 24 features an old second season episode and a new second season episode.

In episode 22 “Nightmare Road”, Five-O attempts to solve the mystery of a very important scientist who disappears after apparently killing a man. Is he a killer or is it all part of an elaborate plot? I think you know the answer to this one.

I also talk about episode 18 of the reboot, “Lekio”, which features James Caan playing opposite son Scott as a retired NYC cop turned PI investigating the death of his friend. It’s as much fun as you think it is and I hope you think it’s a lot of fun.

Listen on Soundcloud and iTunes.

I’m going to continue to cover at least one reboot episode a season. Obviously, I’m going to cover any episode that directly relates to the ’68 series, but since I didn’t really watch the reboot much aside from seasons 9 and 10, I think this will be a fun little thing for me to do. I’m going to pick stand alone episodes as much as possible to avoid any season arc spoilers and confusion, and if they happen to have minor classic series ties (like “Lekio” featuring a small guest spot by Jimmy Borges, who guested on the original series) even better.

And if that’s not your bag, that’s cool. You can just skip to the end and miss me talking about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Movie.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 23

In an extra long episode, your favorite and mine, Daniel Budnik, is back to talk about a couple of season 2 episodes, including my favorite of the season. In episode 20, “Cry, Lie”, Chin Ho is accused of bribery, and in episode 21, “Most Likely to Murder”, the wife of a police officer, who is Danny’s friend, is murdered. It’s Martin Sheen with a mustache and Tom Skerritt without one.

Like our previous chat, Dan and I will be spoiling the episodes. I’ll give you a spoiler warning in the episode, of course, but here’s your timestamps: Spoilers for “Cry, Lie” happen about 41:35 to 47:18 and spoilers for “Most Likely to Murder” happen about 1:34:17 to 1:52:09.

I cannot stress it enough to watch both episodes before you listen. You do not want to be spoiled for either one of them. Don’t ruin the experience.

Listen on Soundcloud and iTunes.

My eternal thanks to Dan for joining me once again. He’s a good sport considering the last time I subjected him to Gavin MacLeod in a prison shower. Be sure to go to Eventually Supertrain and check out all of his writing and his podcasts, including Rockin’ All Week with You, which he somehow failed to mention during the closing and I didn’t realize it. That’s what happens when you’re so prolific.

Here’s a picture of Steve talking to Gloria Warren (Linda Ryan). She’s the reason I have a pixie cut. Watch the episode and you’ll understand why.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 22

In “Killer Bee”, Five-O deals with a peculiar string of kidnappings, and in “The One with the Gun”, Five-O finds themselves one step behind a man looking for his brother’s killer. The former is an episode heavy with mental illness, PTSD, and the trauma of war. The latter features me raving about two of the guys that you’re not supposed to like. Look, the heart wants what it wants, okay?

A mild trigger warning for “Killer Bee”: If you watch the show before you listen to the episodes and you haven’t watched it yet, there is use of a racial slur that’s used in reference to Vietnamese soldiers during the climax. As I mention in the podcast episode (for clarity: I absolutely do not say the slur), it makes sense in the context of the scene and wasn’t uncommon at the time the episode aired, but it’s still unpleasant and upsetting, especially given the recent rise of hate crimes against Asian Americans here in the States.

Listen on Soundcloud and iTunes.

Please enjoy this picture of Steve talking to the beach goers who decided to investigate the shots fired because they have no sense of self-preservation. I mean, sure, it worked out for them, I guess.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 21

Three -yes, three!- season 2 episodes. A bomber intending to kill Steve only blinds him in “Blind Tiger”; “Bored, She Hung Herself”, the lost episode of the show; and Steve tries to help an AWOL seaman in “Run, Johnny, Run.”

There’s a pre-Happy Days Marion Ross and a very young Christopher Walken. Could you ask for more? Yes, but you shouldn’t. This is an embarrassment of riches.

Listen on Soundcloud and iTunes.

Also, don’t mess with Nurse Lavallo.

Book ’em, Danno–Episode 20

It’s all about a dangerous game in episode 13 of season 2 “The Joker’s Wild, Man, Wild”. And in episode 14, “Which Way Did They Go?” we’ve got a brilliant, but deadly heist and William Windom. It’s hard to do better than that.

Just a heads up–There is some mention of sexual assault in my discussion of “Which Way Did They Go?” but I do give a trigger warning and it’s maybe only a minute long. It may not seem like enough of a mention to bother warning people about, but I’d rather be safe than cause someone harm because they were blindsided. As someone who has super specific triggers, I know I can’t account for all of them, but sexual assault is a common one so I’m more than willing to give a heads up.

Listen in on Soundcloud and iTunes.

In conclusion, here is Steve looking so fashionable while arresting someone.

Book ’em Danno–Episode 19

Just about half-way through season 2 with episode 11, “Leopard on the Rock”, and episode 12, “The Devil and Mr. Frog”. Five-O has their hands full. First they have to babysit the uninvited, petty tyrant leader of an unnamed country who is at the center of multiple plots. Then they have to track down a kidnapper in possession of the ransom money and the father who paid it thinks getting the money back is more important than getting justice for his son.

There’s just a whole lot of terrible and questionable people ’round here.

Thank goodness the Five-O guys are on the up and up.

Most of the time.

Listen on Soundcloud and iTunes

Anyway, here’s Steve undercover for a hot minute.